My (23F) partner (24M) lost his self-discipline. How do I help?
TLDR: Bf gained weight and old habits back and he hates it, but isn't helping himself and it stresses me out that it stresses him out and I am beginning to lose attraction.
CONTEXT: My boyfriend Cam's weight has fluctuated all throughout his life, partly due to a mix of untreated depression/anxiety and the over eating and lack of motivation to workout that can come with that. He is an overall active guy & genuinely loves the feeling of working out and eating healthy, so it makes all of this suck even more.
At the start of our relationship, he was going through a huge weight loss/fitness journey. He was working out a lot and eating healthy leading up to a set weigh-in day. Since reaching that weigh-in goal, he has gained all the weight back. I love him a lot and this is genuinely the only thing that I keep stressing over. I am attracted to discipline and am now realizing that his commitment to his health and well-being is definitely part of what drew me to him.
I feel I need to add that he is constantly talking about how he wants to fix his habits and lose the weight, and it definitely bothers him a lot. About 5 months ago, he sought therapy and is now on medicine that helps with his overall mental health. We have had many conversations on the topic I am asking about, and it always ends with him asking me to check-in weekly about his exercise/eating goals and him acknowledging that the good habits are something he has to establish for himself.
I am active and eat pretty good, so I will update him on my day when we are not together to motivate him a little, but I try not to say anything outright about his habits because it frankly feels like bullying and beating a dead horse.
I do not want this to keep skewing my view of him, and I feel selfish for even thinking that way. He was very active and in shape when we met, and this is a life-style adjustment that both he and I will not be comfortable with long-term. I just want to help him get back on track to where he feels confident in himself again.
Has anyone else had something similar happen in their relationship? Any advice is welcome.