I Have Developed Feelings Towards My Physician
Hello. Recently, for the first time in 20 years, I went to the doctors for help in breaking a longstanding addiction to pain meds. My normal doctor was not there, and instead, I was seen by a younger doctor who was still going through her supervisory phase. She is the same age as I am.
Well to begin, as we spoke it became obvious that we had a lot in common. She comes from the same area I do, which is over an hour and a half outside the city we are in. I was in bad shape from being in withdrawal and she prescribed me Suboxone. I was feeling terrible at the time but I couldn’t help but notice she was beautiful, and ordinarily she is my exact type looks and personality wise.
After a month in which I left the city to stay away from temptations to fall off the wagon, I had a relatively good time of recovery and became more active, and even lost a noticeable amount of weight. Then I saw her again for my next appointment. Immediately when I saw her again I felt that feeling in your stomach, you know the one. We talked a little about our hometowns and things like that. Of course, I did not attempt to flirt with her because it would have been inappropriate and unfair to her, whose priority is caring for me medically.
Nevertheless. Although I am genuinely not what you might say a ladies man, I couldn’t help but feel there was a certain chemistry between us. I sound like a fool I know, but she is incredibly beautiful, and I think she’s brilliant. I understand what transference is, so I know what a lot of you will say, I’m fixated on her because she helped heal me and when meeting with me she’s focused on me and that direct kind of attention can easily be misinterpreted. I know that objectively. But yet…
I have zero plans to say anything to her about this, as I heard it can effect their careers and the LAST thing I would do would be to complicate anything like that for her. But she is one beautiful woman with a killer smile, and we have a few connections from our past that seem like, if we had met in a different circumstance, like at a bar or coffee shop, would have been the basis for me asking for her number and wanting to go out with her.
What should do with these feelings? Nothing, I’ll wager.
Edit: I will probably delete this after a bit, since it’s embarrassing.