Does anyone else feel unable to accept being trans?
TW: trans male dysphoria
I came out as a trans man very young, when I was 13 years old, but I never truly accepted myself. I could never accept being a man with a vagina, and especially being very short (I’m 1.58m / 5’2”).
Because of that, I detransitioned at 16 and lived as a woman for a few years. Now, at 22, I started transitioning again after realizing I couldn’t keep running from who I am.
But since restarting my transition, all the self-hatred came back. No matter how much I try to be kind to myself, I hate the fact that I’m trans, and I can’t accept being a man with female anatomy.
I don’t have trans friends, so I honestly don’t know if this feeling is normal. Cis people around me tell me I need to love and accept myself because there’s nothing else I can do. But every time I think about “self-acceptance,” it feels impossible. Sometimes it genuinely feels like death makes more sense than living like this.
I just want to know if anyone else has ever felt this way.