Feeling disillusioned with public service and have developed clinical depression - a rant + looking for those who understand.
I’ve worked in three public service roles, all at a Federal level.
I won’t name the bodies I’ve worked for, but none of them are prestigious (which may be part of the problem?) However, they all do very important work.
Despite having worked for better pay in private and being a pretty high performer, I decided to go into the public service because I really wanted to contribute to something meaningful and that would benefit my community. I wanted to work with other people towards this goal, and some of the better entitlements aren’t bad either.
In every Division I’ve been in so far, bar none, the culture of the teams and particularly the leadership has been of pure self interest. In one role I witnessed wide spread corruption and had to PID, but even when that hasn’t been present (or I haven’t seen it myself), the areas I’ve been in have been all about an egomaniacal SES establishing a close band of Directors who are not very good at their jobs, can’t achieve outcomes, and then sit around blaming level staff for problems that 100% stem from bad leadership.
In my most recent role I’ve sat through 6 restructures in two years which have achieved absolutely nothing at all other than moving favoured directors into roles they’d prefer and haggling for level staff who they think will make them look good. We’ve been explicitly told we “aren’t allowed to be negative” which translates to any actual meaningful criticism of why we are so bad at the work we do (which we objectively are) is negative and needs to be stopped.
I’ve witnessed very talented 6’s and 1’s be siloed into nothing roles because some barely qualified (or even not at all qualified) Director was threatened and called Daddy (SES). I’ve seen teams broken up who were performing well for no reason other than a Director chucked a dummy spit because their team doesn’t perform and instead of…I don’t know…managing that as a manager, they wanted a star performer to saddle load with.
As someone who is extremely happy to critically examine why myself, my teams, and my areas are bad at what we do and how we can improve, I find this culture baffling and depressing. I find it even harder to stomach when we do work that directly impacts Australian people and these half wits are more concerned with positioning themselves for more power than they are with being remotely good at their role.
I know I’m not the only one in my current area feeling this way, and I certainly wasn’t at any of my previous roles. There are a lot of disgruntled 6’s and 1’s who have significantly more experience and more gumption wishing they could work together well and actually achieve something. But we are constantly harmstrung not even by bureaucracy, which would be expected, but by childishness and ego. I’m in an area where it’s apparently perfectly acceptable to take half a decade to write a 12 page internal document and the staff member who has had carriage isn’t disciplined or coached or asked why tf it’s taken (literally…I’m not kidding) 5 years to do something that takes 2 days, because they are well liked so the incompetence doesn’t matter.
I’ve had to call up my old therapist from yonks ago to have a bi-weekly cry because I hate my job so much and yet in this economy, can’t leave without another role. I’m definitely trying and I’m interviewing. I personally suspect the places I’ve worked in the APS are considered clown shows so other departments don’t want to hire from them, and I wish they’d take some pity on us.
I have also experienced this at 3 different bodies and I hope, I have to hope as a citizen lol, that this isn’t a problem everywhere and it’s just bad patches I keep landing in. I don’t know how to find better ones but at this point I’m just considering leaving the service all together.