u/Deep_Lengthiness667

انا مغرمة بطريقه الطرح و الاسلوب في كتبه
اقتروحولي كتب شبه كتبه و قراءته تكون ممتعه

Do you share your intimate preference and fantasies with your wife? Is there a limit I should consider?
I’m the wife

I’m a (30f) been married to my (34m) husband for almost 8 years now, we have 3 kids
Before getting married we had a lot of sex-on phone and i used ti see him every 2-3 weeks we had good sexual relationship at then
After getting married I have been the primary initiator of intimacy (70% of the time). AND Frequency declined significantly after our youngest child was born , we had sex like 2-3 times a month for like a full year and couple months ,This severely impacted my self-esteem and left me feeling lonely and misled.
during that time I talked to him many times about it but he used to blaming his low libido on work stress, BUT unfortunately I discovered his daily pornography addiction in that same time when i was STRUGGLING ti fix our sex life , he didn’t told me or convicted he just lied about it he didn’t care only about himself !!
But we went through this and had a serious breakthrough conversation where he apologized and promised to change. For a few years, intimacy improved through open communication.
And To meet his high-dominance preferences and prevent a relapse into pornography, I agreed to rougher/controlling intimacy and anal sex, despite my own discomfort and When his actions escalated beyond my comfort zone, I spoke up again to recalibrate the intimacy so it met both of our needs “i still been discomfortable but in handable way + Intimacy lacks longevity (only lasting a few minutes), leading me to fake orgasms roughly 75% of the time. “
NOW He is hyper-focused on FFM threesome scenarios during intimacy. Despite me explicitly stating I have no interest in women or sharing him, he continues to push the narrative. He claims it is a harmless fantasy to avoid hurting me physically, but I feel deceived, objectified, and like a tool used to fulfill his specific desires.
While he is an excellent husband, friend, and father in every other aspect of our life, he is selfish in bed. We talk about this frequently; he modifies his behavior temporarily, but we always regress back into the same loop.
Any advice ? What do you think about this situation? I’m I being the selfish one ? What to do ? I have no intentions to lose my marriage and the one I love