I (28M) am questing why I try with my wife (33f)
My wife is big on reddit so I will be changing some information that won't affect the whole story and I'm using a throwaway account. English isn't my first language so there might be mistakes.
Anyway, me (28m) and my wife (33f) have been married for five years and some change. I love her. Honestly and with my whole heart, I love her. But I'm getting tired mentally and physically because of two problems. Let's start off on the problems. My work requires me to do hard physical labor. Her work is mostly mental labor. I'm sure her work is extremely hard and it probably causes physical exhaustion as well. But here's the thing nothing gets done around the house. Not a damn thing. You might be thinking "maybe you should help her out with chores." Well, I am the one doing most of the chores. I wash dishes, I clean, I take out the trash and most of the other things are on me. And she is of no help. Her contributions are bare minimum and that too when she wants to. I wake up the first thing she does is tell me what chores she needs me to help with that day after work. Which is fine. Until we come home and I'm the one doing said chores while she just... doesn't. I get one day off a week. She gets two. I don't think I've gotten to rest on an off day because I have to clean up. On her off day, she laze around and sleeps in until I get home and tells me she wants help.
Second problem is intimacy. She has some trauma and
this makes intimacy a small problem, but she refuses to go to therapy. I've told her a thousand time and each time she says no. And this where it hurts the most. There is almost no intimacy. Maybe twice a month. I try to initiate but every time I do, she has an excuse. Headache, back hurts, distracted and more. There are days she isn't making excuses, for example when she's dealing with her allergies. Those days I don't bother initiating intimacy, I just find ways to help her deal with thing. Speaking of initiating, she never ever initiates. So far in our marriage, she has initiated intimacy maybe two times. TWO in FIVE years of marriage. One the rare days we finally have intimacy, there is almost no foreplay. At least for me. I touch her, kiss her, sweet talk, dirty talk, eat her out. I love eating her out. Genuinely love it. But now it feels like just another chore. You might say just talk to her about it, and believe me I have. It always ends the same. Her angry and me near tears trying to explain. And when I finally am either angry or upset or crying, she come say she'll try harder. She'll do more. But she never does. At this point I don't know why I even try. I feel like i have glorified roommate at this point.
\*\*TL;DR;: I'm losing my mind because my wife doesn't help around the house AND we barely have sex. Am i being stupid?\*\*