u/Defiant-Orange6934

So I (40M) recently got divorced from my ex wife (38F).

The reason is cause she admitted to me that she was a lesbian.

I was so upset, I felt as though I had been betrayed.

We’d been married for 12 years and had five kids together (10M, 10M, 7F, 7F, 7F) so basically she just strung me along all these years!

Sure, it can be hard for people to come to terms with their sexuality and people fall out of love and get divorced all the time for unrelated reasons but she lied to me AND was gay!

Well, is congratulating her for coming out but what about me?

So since no one was nice to me and my heart got broken I decided that gay=bad.

I took matters into my own hands to get justice, I snuck into my ex’s new apartment, stole all her money and spent it all on anti-LGBT campaigns, that’ll show her!

Seems like she didn’t learn a lesson though cause instead of coming to her senses, turning straight again, and getting back with me, she called the cops saying that she was robbed while she was sleeping.

I called my kids to tell them what I’d done hoping they’d be on my side, but instead they all backstabbed me saying that I was being “unreasonable” and that they were gonna tell their mom. One of my seven year old daughters, named Tragedeigh even asked why can’t I just get along with their mom. But they don’t understand, I’m the only victim here so therefore I’m allowed to do what I want, kids these days! Their useless mother must’ve brainwashed them.

I’m currently trying to flee the country before the cops find me but I’m still deciding to write this as if they can’t trace me back by this post.

So AITA? I’m not gonna actually listen to any comments saying I’m wrong cause I simply only posted this for validation so I’d love to hear people tell me how great I am instead!

TW: Talks of child abuse, abuse from dating partners, being used sexually, SA, suicide, self harm, and bullying

(Sorry for this post being so long, ig this is what happens when you have years of piled up emotions idk)

As far as I could remember, my life was never about what I wanted, my voice has never mattered, and my feelings were never valid.

My mother physically, emotionally, and verbally abused me.

She would do it over things like grades and just acting out a little, even though she knew I had AuDHD (was diagnosed at three years old). But I guess she was mad that she didn’t get a “normal” child maybe?

My dad knew the whole time, not only did he not care about it and also sometimes participate in the verbal/emotional abuse, but he would often basically inform my mom of anything I did so she could go abuse me more, almost seeming like he’s too much of a coward to hurt his kid but wants to so he needs someone else to do it for him.

Turned out he never wanted children but only had my older sister and me because both wives (our mothers) wanted a kid and he just decided to give in and give them what they wanted to make them happy. I guess me and him have something in common where we make ourselves unhappy and get used by other people? Only that in doing this he essentially set me (I’m not sure about my sister) up for a life of failure.

Although he never really had to straight up tell me this because his behavior made it abundantly clear, that not only he didn’t want us but he probably also hated us (or just me at least).

And before people accuse me of looking for reasons to hate him or trying to make his behavior make sense, he literally admitted to me when I was 19 that he never wanted to have kids and only had one for each wife that wanted a child.

So just from the beginning of my life, I’ve been used, used as my mothers punching bag and I was only made because a man was desperate to have the woman he’s loved all his life, and because said woman dreamed of having a daughter after having two sons from her ex husband who was abusive. Not just because they want a child to have a good life, but honestly, who has a kid for not selfish desires?

Fast forward to when I was in high school, I began going online and engaging with people in fandoms, this was also when the pandemic started so I was just stuck in the house and just spent all day in group chats with these people instead of doing the online homework cause all the desire from school was chased away from me by my mother and teachers who made life no better.

Me and the people in these group chats would often get into fights, whether it was cause I provoked it or they did, but we sometimes made up for whatever reason.

I still remember these people, and while I’m not really in contact with any of them anymore, there was one group member who stuck out to me.

A boy about two years older than me.

He at first thought I was “weird” but we would in the coming months during the pandemic, get to talking more and more, and start calling and texting daily, eventually just doing it personally.

He took “pity” I guess? On my situation, still being abused by my mom and basically neglected by my dad, and now suffering from extreme suicidal ideation.

Although, he’d then start to lecture me about how to feel, saying that I should just “be nicer to my parents” like they weren’t psychologically tormenting me, under the guise of “maybe they’ll start treating you better if you do nice things”, and how even if my mental health was in the shitter I still needed to do homework (I had just gotten out of my first psychiatric hospital stay at this point).

That second one sounds that he’s just looking out for me, right? Well I thought that too, seems I was wrong. I’ll get to why later.

Even though this guy was also being mean to me, I guess since this is the first time someone didn’t only respond to my tears with screaming at me or anything like that, I grew to think he was an amazing person for a while.

The next school year when the pandemic was completely over basically, I went to school again, I met a group of kids around my age (duh it’s high school). We got along pretty well. I told the friends about the guy online, and needless to say they didn’t like him.

The reason? I started telling them everything, how he basically used “tough love” with all my mental illnesses, which was just basically him telling me to just “stop” (I also had anorexia during this time after being body shamed for years by my mother) one would say “it’s not his responsibility to help with these things” which is true, except for the fact that he’d basically weasel his way into all my problems, maybe cause he had a hero complex? Idk.

So after these friends seemed to be treating me pretty well and I realized he wasn’t a good guy, I told him I didn’t wanna be friends anymore and blocked him.

I ended up feeling guilty like a month later and trying to re connect but he rejected and blocked me and I was really hurt.

Anyway, fast forward to the middle of the summer after that school year, the friends all cut me off for trauma dumping, even though they always said they were fine with it.

Anyway, I ended up getting hospitalized a third time after this cause I guess I genuinely couldn’t handle getting cut off from basically my support system (the second hospitalization was something else).

I also couldn’t handle seeing all of them at school once the new school year started and on top of the fact that I was always just a failure anyway, I decided to drop out when I was 17, I came to find out that said friends said behind my back I was “immature” and “running away from my problems” for doing this, but I think I would’ve mentally imploded or exploded if I stayed.

I also came to find out like two years later they were STALKING MY SOCIAL MEDIA and making fun of all my posts.

But back to when I dropped out, a few weeks later I got arrested, and in jail I’d get beat up by one of my cellmates who also coerced me into doing sexual things with her when I was uncomfortable.

Eventually I was bailed out but at that point I was drained.

I began hurting myself and my suicidality was so severe I’d sit there with a straight face and go on and on to my dad on how I wish I could travel to a country where euthanasia was legal for suicidal people so I could end my misery.

Despite all this, my parents weren’t gonna cancel their trip to Kuwait to see my maternal grandparents so after they screamed at me for the self harm, they were basically just like “good luck with that” and left me at home for the month of December, leaving me with nothing for Christmas. (Dw they didn’t completely leave me alone, some of their friends came over to check up on me every couple of days)

But I guess I didn’t learn the first time about making friends in general, let alone online, cause I started talking in new group chats with new people, maybe cause I was lonely and had zero friends left?

Through that, I met this one girl, she and I clicked very well, she also pitied what I’d gone through and was even there to comfort me after one of my ex friends from high school messaged me during that month of December just to troll I guess.

And eventually, on new years, she asked if I wanted to date her, and I said yes.

In the beginning it was good, but then she began verbally and emotionally abusing me; however, at this point I had no one in my life left so I stayed, also due to my past I thought maybe I’d done something wrong and that this treatment was normal.

I still had acquaintances online who I occasionally talked to, and they told me this wasn’t normal however.

Summer of that year came by and the boy (now man) that was mentioned before, came back into my life.

The reason was because he lost all his friends, they had accused him of abuse, he convinced me that it was all made up, so I believed him and let him back into my life even though he harassed me online a few times after finding out about the arrest.

At this point, the girl I was dating begun to ignore me, so I’d only talk to him and our mutual friends that we talked to again.

He also apologized for how he treated me in the past and encouraged me to leave her.

I also developed feelings for him as I had done back when I was 15, now being 18.

At first he wasn’t sure, but suddenly he said he felt the same way, so I left her and then started dating him.

However, he also became abusive, always tearing me down, pressuring me to do sexual things over the phone and said if I didn’t then don’t be surprised when he cheated, threatening me, and even taking advantage of me in a vulnerable position where I couldn’t consent when he met me in person.

I tried breaking up with him about a year and a half into our relationship, but I had no support system, I was being bullied to the point of wanting to hurt myself by my so called “friends” and my parents were mad at me for breaking up with “such a great guy” and I was already somewhat conditioned to him, so all this just made me run back to him.

However, a few months later, he left me for a girl he knew for a month.

I was treated like garbage and then thrown away when I wasn’t needed as a punching bag an d sex toy anymore.

It makes sense since one of our mutual friends told me that he only dated me cause he was “desperate”.

At this point, everyone had left my life cause I tried speaking up about what happened but he flipped the script to say that it was the other way around.

I stopped caring about life again altogether and once again thought of euthanasia.

I reconnected with someone from high school earlier this year (we were never friends, just classmates) and she introduced me to some of her friends.

She turned out to be really self centered, me and one of the friends cut her and the others off and just started being friends ourselves.

He started out as really nice, and he.. kind of is I guess?

But it seems like he doesn’t care about me that much, he started to ask me to do sexual stuff with him and I agreed.

Sometimes it seemed like that’s all he cared about though.

About a week ago he told me he didn’t want to do it anymore, and I respect that, but I question if that’s all he cared about.

I was glad to make him happy, but now that he only wants to be regular friends idk what to do, since I only exist for other people.

He doesn’t like to do fun things with me, saying that we need a friend group to do it, and when I ask if me and his friends can all do something he says no.

I get he doesn’t have to but it hurts.

He said he’s gonna spend most of this summer with those friends, making me wonder if I was just a replacement fun till he could hang out more with those friends.

Even though he acts like he doesn’t care he does random acts of… kindness(?) that throw me off, like he saw my scars yesterday and made me promise not to harm myself anymore

I guess my point is…

I have no other purpose in life aside from being of use to someone? Whether it be as a punching bag, laughing stalk, scapegoat, or sex toy.

Nobody ever does nice things for me unless it’s required, they’ll get something out of it, or they have ulterior motives, and I don’t think it’ll ever change.

I guess all I’m trying to say is.

I’m tired of being used, but I have no other purpose, so what else am I supposed to do?

Thanks to anyone who bothered reading this mess, and bonus points if you don’t just think “stfu and stop complaining” or whatever.

(Note: Idk where to find the link for this story cause this was so long ago but plz just believe that I saw this)

Like a year or two ago I was watching one of those “aita” or “true off my chest” stories from Reddit told with text to speech narration. Why? They’re awful but I can never turn away from them once they come on my feed for whatever reason.

Anyway, I ended up watching this video where a man claimed his brothers’ girlfriend made up an alter of his three year old daughter and was “faking DID for attention”

At first I was like “ok whatever” didn’t think much of it that it was just another fake Reddit story made for clout or whatever.

Until I heard the update.

In that update, the guy said he “looked up DID” and “doesn’t believe it’s real” because it “sounds impossible” or something along those lines. Even going as far as to say that he doesn’t care that the literal DSM-5 says it’s a real disorder!

Anyway, I kind of just tried to forget about that post cause it made me so angry, but recently I remembered it and didn’t know where else to share it but this sub is all about ranting about how cringe fake claimers are and I like lurking around here so idk.

Hopefully I’m not breaking any rules on this sub or come across as cringe myself-