u/DiscoLego

Much is being discussed about who should play the next Bond. All sorts of reboots and reimaginings have been suggested. Some I even like.

Purists are focused on either Connery or Craig. I grew up with the Moore, Dalton, Brosnan ones.

Since we can consider all options, I especially like the idea of a "Bond: The Next Generation" and specifically a James Bond Jr. filling in the shoes of his esteemed father.

If we play with this, I think we can go to some interesting places with it. I've landed on the Brosnan Bond for this.

Here's my pitch: Yahya Abdul Mateen plays the son of Giacinta "Jinx" Johnson. The NSA agent played by Halle Berry in Die Another Day the last Pierce Brosnan Bond film.

The cool thing about this is that you could kick off a Yahya-Bond era by reprising both Berry and Brosnan back from retirement in their original roles.

Cool plot ideas could include:

Jinx knew, or didn't know, or suspected her son was Bond's.

Bond Sr., Jinx, and James Jr. Join forces to fight a nemesis from the Brosnan-Bond days.

Bond Sr. hands off 007 toBind Jr.

Ok now you go...

Social Media needs us to believe that the country is split down the middle between angry Liberals and angry Conservatives.

The Algorithm's marching order is to maximize monetization by sowing conflict between us. It needs to shove us into the mosh pit.

That's why Trump is the perfect Social Media president. He's arguably better at starting social media fights by creating conflict, than the Algorithm.

I'll argue, people didn't get Trump elected. Social Media did. Because it had to.

The reason? Normally in 1st world countries, where basic needs are relatively easily met, about 2/3 of the population is naturally Socially Liberal.

"Live and Let Live" just becomes more popular than "Do it my way".

Think 70's Smiley faces, Peace signs, long hair that looked even Cooler with a headband.

Everyone was invariably "Cool" in the 70's.

Where's that America?

I'm not convinced it's gone. I'm thinking MAGA/Republicans aren't so much "Conservative" as they are just Moderate Liberals who are now angry for a variety of reasons.

Most of which are too embarrassing to admit are self inflicted, but to avoid unpacking that trauma, it's just easier to blame Classical Generic Liberalism.

Hmmm?

Sort of.

We have both spent our careers largely in Tech, advocating for common sense American business principles, demanding excellence, using a pragmatic, high efficiency, best practices approach.

Where we differ, is in our respective trajectories.

While Scott has forged a clear path helping visionary thought leaders realize their fullest potential, via courageously timed risk taking, that resulted in building strong brands and shareholder value, my path was a different one.

While Scott was forging (foraging?), I was busy clear cutting the invasive growth of blind, thoughtless leaders, squandering what little market opportunity they had, by trying to steer them away from outright copyright violation of competitor logos and technical documentation, stealing or hiring unvetted or criminal background unchecked employees, the clearest intellectual property theft, and the pitfalls of their constant inappropriate behavior towards their female employees.

While Scott was able to channel his many contributions to the companies he was intimately involved in, towards part ownership, and lucrative board positions, my fortunes took a different turn.

While Scott was flying around the country and globe dropping drops of honey-wisdom, I was stuck in traffic on my way to small claims court, to make the deadline to provide yet another admittedly dubious alibi for my client.

While Scott was backing up the proverbial Brinks truck at the docking bay of successful startup after successful startup, I think I still have a Google Docs folder somewhere, filled with ridiculously unenforceable NDAs, and I think 5 ironically worthless 5,000-share stock options. Ironic, because they're options I would have to buy. Not that there's a chance in hell of them going public.

But who's bitter? Honestly, to be serious, not me. I think where I might have Scott beat is in the sheer hilarity of some of the craziest CEOs, and truly untalented people that I worked with or for during my 40 year career(s). And in spite of their constant bargaining and protestations, nevertheless somehow still managed to squeeze them to pay every single one of my deeply discounted invoices.

Sort of.😂

(Warning: This is a very long joke, but everyone I've told it to loves it, so hang in there)

(Bonus: If you guys like this joke and want me to, I will tell you the variation on this joke that I personally think is even funnier)

A man who was very well endowed, and quite popular with the ladies, and had many successful dates with different women each week, began having constant headaches. Worried, he went to the doctor to see if they could find out what was causing them.

After a complete examination, a full series of blood tests, and scans, the doctor called him after two weeks and said, "I've got good news and bad news."

"What's the good news?" The man asked hoping it was a cure.

"Well, the good news is that we can stop the headaches and you can live a full life." The doctor said.

"Well that's just great! So why am I having those headaches then?" The man said relieved.

"Well the reason you're having the headaches is that the size and weight of your large penis is pulling down on your prostate, which is in turn pulling down on your abdomen muscles, which is pulling down on your neck muscles, which pulling down on the back of your head, which is causing the headaches." The doctor explained.

"Wow! That's incredible! So what's the bad news?" The man said, relieved it wasn't cancer or some sort of disease.

"Well the bad news is we would need to remove part of your penis to relieve the pressure on your prostate, abdomen, neck, and head to fix the headaches." The doctor said, worried it might be a deal breaker.

"How much of my penis?" The man asked.

"Most of it, you'll end up with like 2 maybe 3 inches. Its going have a drastic affect on your sex life." The doctor said.

The man thought about it for a bit, weighing the pros and cons, and right then, he got another one of the headaches, and decided. "You know what? That's fine, I'll just have to live with it, anything's better than this headache."

So he gets the surgery, and immediately, the headaches are gone. He's completely pain free.

After a couple of weeks, he goes on a few dates and immediately notices the short penis is going to be a bigger issue than he thought, as his lady friends are less than thrilled.

One day as he's walking around town and feeling depressed, he walks past a men's clothing boutique with some really nice clothes in the window.

He thinks to himself, "That's what I need to get me out of this mood. Some new clothes!"

So he walks in and right away he's greeted by a sharp looking salesman in a fantastic suit.

"Welcome to the store Sir, how can I help you today?"

The man was right away impressed at being called Sir, and said, "Thanks, I've just had surgery and am all better and wanted to treat myself to some new clothes, so what do you have in the way of shirts?"

The salesman replied, "Excellent! Let me bring a few things out for you to look at. Let's see you're a 16 and a half neck?"

"Wow! How did you guess? That's exactly right!" The man said impressed.

The salesman smiled and said, "I'll be right back."

He returned and brought put 3 gorgeous shirts, each one better than the one before. The man tried them on and the fit was perfect. "I'll take all 3." the man said.

"Excellent Sir, can I get you anything else? How about some slacks to go with the shirts?" The salesman said.

The man agreed, and the salesman took a look at the man's waist and legs rubbed his chin and said, "Let's see, what are you about a 34 waist 32 length?"

The man couldn't believe it. "That's exactly my size. How did you know this?"

The salesman smiled again, "My pleasure sir. It is my job to know these things sir. I'll be right back."

He returns and again, the slacks are all exquisitely chosen, perfectly fitting, perfectly matched to the shirts.

The salesman continues offering the guy perfectly matched excellent looking belts and shoes and socks, to go with the outfits, each time correctly guessing the right look and size.

Finally the salesman asks, "Sir what about some underwear? I have some wonderful items in silk and the finest cotton I think you'll like."

The man is so impressed with the salesman's choices, at this point, he agrees.

"Excellent Sir, let's see what are you a Large?" The salesman guessed again.

"Ah! See but I'm going to have to correct you right there my friend, sorry, but I'm a Medium." The man said. Almost sad to break the salesman's streak.

The salesman said, "I'm so sorry sir. But I must correct you. It is my job to know this. You are Sir, definitely a Large."

"Nope sorry buddy, but you're wrong. Look everything else you've been spot on, but when it comes to underwear, trust me I'm a Medium. Been a Medium all my life."

"That's simply not possible Sir." The salesman objected. "I promise, you are a Large."

The man starts getting a bit annoyed at the salesman's insistence, but has to admit he's been right on all the other stuff, and finally agrees, "Ok fine, bring me Large, but I'm telling you, I'm a Medium."

"Thank you sir, you won't be disappointed." The salesman goes into the back room again and brings out several pairs of the most comfortable underwear the man has ever seen. He tries them on and sure enough the salesman was right again.

"That's amazing! The man said. "You've been right about everything. The shirts, slacks, belts, shoes, socks, but the underwear too? Now I gotta ask, how do you know all this?"

The salesman beams with pride and says, "Look sir. This is my job, my life, I've been doing this for years and take great pride in knowing what my customers' correct sizes and tastes are."

"But I've always been a Medium when it comes to underwear. The Large fits well though, I have to admit." The man said.

The salesman sighed and went on to explain, "Sir, you must trust me, you were never a Medium. It's simply not possible. You are a large."

"But why..." The man started to say.

The salesman starting to get annoyed a bit, interrupted him, "Because sir, it's my job to know these things, I simply cannot sell you Medium when you are a Large. If I sold you the Medium, it would put a lot of pressure on your groin area, which would in turn put pressure on your prostate, which would then put pressure on your abdomen, which would eventually put pressure all the way up your neck, to the back of your head, giving you one hell of a headache..."

My absolute favorite thing about Scott is that he can distill out what's inherently good about something, that you might not be noticing, because you are too busy hating on that thing.

A bad company's shareholder performance.

A bad person who's now trying to redeem themselves.

Dad jokes that are so bad, but still endearing...

You?