What do I do
Me and my ex bf, gonna call him Chicken (both under 20), had been dating for about a year and 8 months when he broke up with me. We had a great relationship and, of course, I’d overthink sometimes, but for the most part I never questioned if he loved me. He felt like the boy version of me and my best friend.
However, around February, I told him something very personal and asked him to keep it to himself so I could handle it. Of course, Chicken didn’t listen, so someone I’m gonna call Squeaker ended up texting him off my phone pretending to be me. Chicken started being disrespectful to Squeaker. I can try to understand why, but I can’t understand why he’d actually do that. Obviously it put me in an uncomfortable situation and wasn’t something he needed to do. He ended up saying he was “defending himself,” but there was nothing to defend himself from because Squeaker didn’t even do anything to him.
So now I obviously at that point couldn’t see Chicken until he apologizes to Squeaker. And that’s just the beginning. Apparently later that night, some old ass lady I’m gonna call Scrappy tells him, “I had 2 abortions and didn’t tell him.” This is complete BS, and absolutely disgusting that a woman at least 20 years older than me is talking about me like that. Anyways, Chicken believes Scrappy and wants my mom to confirm I’ve never had an abortion.
I tried as hard as I could to talk to him and assure him while fixing problems that I didn’t even cause, and he tells me he needs a break. That’s okay, I’m patient, but there was never really a conversation about how he actually felt, so I still don’t fully know. After days of him barely texting me, I finally sent him a message basically saying:
“Hey, I don’t want to bother you, but I’ve been confused and unsure about what’s going on. I’ve tried to be patient and respect your space, but I need clarity and communication. If something changed about how you feel about me or our relationship, I’d rather you talk to me. I care about you and I love you, but I can’t keep waiting and overthinking.”
From there, he told me that he does love me, but he doesn’t see it working out long term, and that if we kept trying, it would just delay the end. For some more context, we hadn’t seen each other for 2 months prior. That’s happened before, but this time I guess it made a bigger dent.
Of course I wanted to see him, but I just couldn’t. By now we probably would’ve been fine. I don’t want to put all the blame on him because I know I’m not perfect either, but Chicken didn’t have to start stuff with Squeaker. It was all so avoidable.
Anyways, he ended it by saying that it “isn’t working out for him,” and that maybe in the future, when we’re older and more mature, we could talk again. He said he was sorry, loved me so much, and thought he wasn’t ready to be as serious and invested in the relationship as we were.
I responded with, “I understand, but we’ve been together for almost 2 years. I just wish you told me sooner, but it’s okay.” I also asked to call just to talk. Not to fix anything, but because being broken up with over text after almost 2 years honestly felt crazy to me. He thought I was disrespecting his decision by asking to call, but I wasn’t begging for him back. I was begging for respect. Maybe I shouldn’t have, but you can’t really blame me.
Anyways, 2 months later he texts me saying, “How’ve you been? Not trying anything, just checking up.”
I respond, “Hey, I’m good. How are you?”
He says, “I’m alright.”
I say, “Thanks for checking in.”
And he says… YEA. Just “yea.”
Like why even text me then? We can have a short conversation, we can talk about things, we can even be friends. But if you’re going to text me, at least have a game plan. What is going on here? I’m so confused. Please help me out, Daddy Gang.