Feel like we’ve taken 10 steps back
We got our dog a little over 2 years ago from not the best situation. His owners at the time were giving him away and when I picked him up he was given to me with a crate that was covered in feces and urine. From the day I got him he’s always been anxious and reactive but even when I was just a stranger to him he never acted like that towards me. But it was a different story with my boyfriend, he constantly resource guarded me from him and my cats. He was incredibly anxious and scared of my boyfriend. I have a feeling that he was abused by the man who owned him or the man was abusive toward the woman who owned him. He definitely had something happen to him in his past. If you lifted your feet to step over something while he was close by he was run and cower. He was so anxious when getting his leash/collar put on, he would run and hide and tuck his tail and we would have to coax him out with treats.
It took us almost a year of hard work and lots of money for him to even be able to sleep in bed with us. He did day training, group training and was put on fluoxetine. All of this helped immensely and it got to the point where he absolutely ADORED my boyfriend like there were times where I was like he definitely likes him more than me. We were finally able to cuddle on the couch together and all sleep in bed. There was no resource guarding when it came to me anymore and it took over a year to get to that point. He is still reactive to strangers but is able to be neutral when on a walk etc.
I feel like all this hard work just went down the drain and I just want to cry. Last week I took him out, took his leash off and had tossed it on the chaise, something I’ve done countless times before. He got excited over something and ran across the couch and stepped on the carabiner that holds his poop bags to the leash. The carabiner got stuck to his foot and he was yelping and crying in pain. My boyfriend immediately got up to get it off of his foot, our dog was growling, snarling and crying out as he tried to get it off (he never bit him but was mouthing him) you could tell he didn’t want to hurt my boyfriend but he was in pain and was confused in what was going on. He finally got it off but now the trust is completely broken, my boyfriend was helping him and he had to do it but he’s a dog so obviously he doesn’t understand that. Immediately after that he started barking and snarling at my boyfriend. Then when my boyfriend crouched down he got really nasty at him so he just let him be.
Of course all of this happened the day I was leaving to go out of town for a wedding and my boyfriend would be alone with him. Our dog was okay with him while I was gone but my boyfriend said he could definitely tell he was anxious with him.
The issue started today when I got home. I could tell how anxious he was with my boyfriend being close to me. We were on the couch and he kept panting, licking his lips, and trying to get in between us (licking both of our faces). If my boyfriend got too close to me he would immediately start panting and widen his eyes. I know his body language very well now and his cues of when he is about to react, so I could tell if we pushed it he would’ve snapped.
I’m so angry at myself for not putting his leash up. I’m so pissed that me doing something so small did so much damage. I just want to cry and I just want everything to be okay again. I feel so sad that this broke my dogs trust with my boyfriend and I’m so sad that I hurt my dog physically and emotionally even though I didn’t mean to. I can’t stop beating myself up and I feel so sad for my boyfriend because he loves our dog so much. Just wanted to vent because I feel so defeated and upset with myself.
Any advice is welcome