Myheart 5/31/26 1:16am
I hate people I hate people I hate that people can’t listen to me and take my words seriously I hate when people are ignorant and ignore the red flags right in front of them. I hate that I’m a kid I hate that I can’t grow fast enough. I hate that I can’t be deaf…I hate that I have overwhelming feelings and deep thoughts. I hate that I want better for others but I can’t be better myself. I hate when things don’t go how I want I hate that I’m only fifteen..I want to leave and live peaceful with no one to bother me…no noise to discomfort me, no noise to make me want to die…I wish I could grow up faster..I hate that my mind tricks my ears or I’m scared of what I know. I wish people would listen to me …why can’t people listen and see the wrong I’m warning them about…I hate other people that make others fall…I hate sex..I hate being hyper sexual I hate that I desire the thought but don’t actually want it. I hate that I’m confusing I hate that I want to die. Why can’t I live in peace..where noise is simply nature. Why can’t my life be like others …family together and they know eachother..I hate my surroundings..I hate that I’m lazy I hate that I can’t sleep unless the unwanted presence is gone..I hate that I want people to die yet I want them to just leave my life… my heart can’t handle my feelings …I need comfort I need peace I need love that isn’t lust that isn’t judgy. My stomach grows nervous from uncomfortable noises.. I wish I had an older brother to lean on I want a big brother to look up to but I have no one but God and even then I get lazy to spend anytime with him I wish people could feel how I feel..even I know I’m being delusional sometimes ..I don’t want a lover deep down I want a buddy…I want friends I want to be cool like others ..I hate my skin sometimes..I hate some men just because of what I know. I wish I could die …then I’d be free somehow yet I don’t want to go …I want my Heavenly Father to hold my heart…because I know he understands me and how I feel no will even know all of me and look at me the same way. I hate my life I wish people would listen I wish they wouldn’t let their flesh control them . Are my feelings not valid I can’t think I can’t …I can’t I can’t I want to grow up and leave to be alone and no noise bother me..I wish I could be born deaf