“I'm not going to be ignored, Dan”
The above quotation is from the 1987 thriller Fatal Attraction. For those of you who have seen the movie (you’ll get where this is going). For those of you who haven’t, I’ll explain the plot; two professionals in the workplace have an affair but it transpires the woman, Alex Forrest, has severe mental health issues that lead to dangerous behaviour. My colleague Aimee* (an alias) has eerie similarities to the character from Fatal Attraction and I just want to vent to people outside the situation.
Before Aimee started, myself and my colleagues were a close knit team that frequently had social gatherings outside of work. We were, and are, genuine friends. She joined the team as a seasonal team member with there being the potential of gaining a permanent job. She was likeable and fun but very early on would tell white lies about herself. I put it down to lack of confidence (in a way it was sort of endearing) but quickly the frequency and the outlandishness of the lies became a talking point in the team. She also started messaging male members of staff outside of work (often bombarding them with messages) Which led to many male members of staff becoming increasingly uneasy around her. They found her constant attempts to get male admiration/attention unnerving and incessant. Despite befriending her, I did speak to all the men on my team that they could confide in me if things took a turn with Aimee’s behaviour. My gut instinct told me that something wasn’t right and this suspicion seemed to be confirmed a few weeks into her employment.
She had told me about a previous male colleague at a previous job had assaulted her. I had believed her (unlike her other stories, it seemed like something that could happen). But not long after she told me about, allegedly, another girl that her previous job that had made a false allegation about a male colleague. Details in the story matched details about her and I felt that horrible drop in my stomach when your intuition kicks in. I made little comment in response but I knew my worst suspicions seemed to be true.
When it came time for interviews for permenant jobs; she made up stories about an unpopular other candidate and started a vicious dog pile on him to sabotage his chances (she’s done similar tactics in subsequent interviews). She successfully got the permenant job and that’s when the real troubles began.
So far she has been in trouble with bosses for multiple instances where she has bombarded male member’s of staff with unwanted messages (this doesn’t include all the unwanted attentions or physical touches she gives the male staff). Male staff she thinks have “rebuffed” her, are met with hostility and personal attacks. There was a HR tribunal where she had screamed at colleagues in public (she had been in a bad mood and when someone asked why she exploded and said they didn’t like her). Her lies continued to be frequent and outrageous; one instance she got colleagues into trouble for calling the cops for a welfare check despite it being out of work. She’s reported multiple people for “bullying“ her when in actual fact they either simply don’t have to like her, avoid her or have committed the unforgivable sin of questioning her crazy narratives. For myself, my bosses told me not to take it to heart that she is jealous of me. Her behaviours towards me have included taking photos of me and sending them to men to compare us, trying to recruit people to belittle or get me into trouble, she started a rumour that a colleague wanted to have relations with me (my boss was furious on my behalf but I foolishly shrugged it off as another one of her lies) and trying to get involved/invited to my wedding. Over time, the team became exhausted by her. We no longer spent time together outside of work because we all had our private issues with Aimee and couldn’t bare to spend time with her. But her most alarming behaviours are the obsessions she forms over men. She followed a colleague home and took pictures of him to prove he was dating someone. She became obsessed that a colleague was “stalking her” convinced he visited her often at work (he did not) and over time she started accusing him of being unkind to the point she was going to put in a formal complaint about him before an important interview for a promotion. But the worst behaviour came when Tyler* joined the team.
Tyler was a young guy. He was a total incel; he had a sweet, shy vulnerable side that he tried to hide under toxic masculinity. Many girls took a shine to him, Aimee saw on opportunity to bolster her popularity and fragile ego. Tyler was a deeply lonely person and so Aimee started bombarding him with messages. Initially he resisted (I witnessed him being very dismissive and rude to her in person) but he caved started sending back messages. They both were starved of attention and found in their chats validation. Aimee suddenly became popular with the girls because she had access to Tyler. She started hosting dinners where he would be used as a bait so people would attend (knowing people stopped socialising because of her, this gave her power to control people). Their chats continued with her goading him into risqué exchanges (I saw troubling behaviour from her). I saw curated screenshots of the exchanges but firmly had the impression she applied pressure or wore down his resolve. He behaved badly. Without details; lines were crossed, rumours began, accusations started. She went off with mental illness and Tyler was dismissed. Both of them did not have flawless records when it came to behaviour but I think she wore down a lonely and single person‘s resolve (she has a partner, who we aren’t permitted to talk to).
She went away and what a transformation the workplace took on. Everyone felt lighter and more upbeat. We started socialising again. She started posting thirst traps and anything to garner attention (despite being on sick leave because of trauma). Then she returned. She’s now weaponising mental health so that she cannot be punished for her horrendous behaviour. She‘s targeting anyone that asks why she’s bursting into tears or faking injuries at work with bullying accusations (I’m certainly a target for no longer being friendly towards her after she told me she was using me to speak on her behalf if she had another HR tribunal). She’s going home whenever she likes because of “panic attacks”. Shes bragging about how much holiday she has (because she’s been off for months on sickness).
I know I have barely scratched the surface with everything that has transpired, and of course I have to be vague on the details, but the situation is insane. Everything is her efforts to control and manipulate people around her and her insane world view. And if you don’t fit into what she wants then you are an enemy that she will reputationally damage. I mentioned Fatal Attraction because just like the movie; Aimee was a professional that just turned into a lunatic.
What do you folks think of this situation? Me and my work friends know exactly what’s up but the bosses either have their hands tied by following guidance on mental illness or, god forbid, they believe her to some extent. That she’s mentally ill, absolutely. But not this poor victim she’s making out in spite of all her bad behaviour. I feel so powerless and frustrated as she continues to try and control and provoke people in order to play the victim and say people are being mean to her.