u/Dumb-fuckiam

i am at a point in life where i have sufficient time to improve it, and my first goal is sleep schedule. i have managed to manage my narcolepsy somehow (green tea, mostly), now i sleep 7-8 hours contrary to my 12-15 hours. i also used to sleep in two bricks, but i have a continuous night sleep, nowadays. so my next goal is naturally to decide what should my sleep window be.

thing is, i NEED time without my parents being awake. their sleep schedules are 10-6/8. and i have been sleeping from 1/2-9, which gives me 3-4 hours without them, and i really enjoy that time, in fsct it is the most productive time of my day.

but me waking up at 9 works right now as i do not have school, but after a momth id have to wake up at 7 anyways. and rebuilding that sort of sleep schedule is pretty tough, just for school, so i want smth that works for holidays as well.

i have considered 8pm to 4am, but im confused as to what my meal schedule would be with that. idk, this is quite an important thing to decide at the moment.

i just cant. my last, and first post on this sub, was also about the same problem. i cut too deep on the sole today im getting around as though i am paralysed. it feels so good but i dont get it. i might be looking down at an infection too, since the floors are dirty. but it feels like the most convenient body part of all. no one can see it and it hurts soo nice. idk if i like it or i hate it but idk if i should do it and i just dont know anything anymore. i dont wanna cut my arms because my tshirts might get dirty and idk i get really ugly scars because i have a skin pigment problem it leaves me hating myself idk what im doing im so done.

i was feeling horrible and i really wanted that rush last night so i made three medium deep cuts on the sole of my foot (i dont really have any nice blades, so as deep as they could go). now it hurts to even move that foot, and i understand that it will take a lot of time to heal. i cant even walk bare foot anymore. it reminds me of why i was feeling bad last night, and to keep feeling bad about it.