Dear T
There is no revenge needed. There is no anger needed. I loved you more than I ever loved myself. You became part of my reason to keep on surviving, even through the kids were already the reason. You were my safe space, you were my peace.
So, I know one day, it’s may not come tomorrow or the day after or a year later. You’ll miss my laugh, my brown eyes, my personality, my stupid jokes, my playfulness, my clumsiness, my stupid smile, my smart remarks, and the way I believed in you and your dreams. I may not have always shown it, but I believe in every dream you ever had, every plan you ever thought of. But I feared so much about good things and for those good things to leave. That I let fear control me, and in the end it caused me to lose you. I am sorry about that. I am sorry it took me losing you to realize what I was scared of. Just remember it wasn’t just me either, I had some help. You had a play as well.