i've clearly hurt a friend who has bpd but i don't think i did anything wrong and have no idea how to navigate this.
essentially this is someone i lived with. i realized they would lash out at me randomly, never keep their word, and just generally made me feel unstable living with them. i decided to move out and i didn't tell them at first, they found out through a reminder on my desk to "call landlord". were very chill about it, we've had some minor disagreements but nothing major. i really didn't feel like i could talk to them as it went on about the things that were bothering me. they would talk down to me, refer to themselves as my "mom and dad", just kinda painted stuff i did as irresponsible. anyway, i've moved out, and not even a day after they unload a bunch of stuff on me. about how i didn't respect them, keep my word, about how they didn't trust me, about how they still loved me but thought i'd just up and left them with no reason. that they don't even know if i'm ever coming back and i've hurt them a lot. about how they viewed me as family (i lived with them for a little over half a year). i'm not saying i was the perfect roommate, but it was not the perfect living situation.
they have bpd. i know people with bpd experience abandonment issues but i never expected this. nothing while i was living there even came close. it was extremely long text after extremely long text. and it just kept growing. i have my own pretty severe mental issues that i am medicated for. this was so much stress on me i've pretty much gone no contact with them. it was like an avalanche, and it felt so manipulative the language she used. i have NO idea how to navigate this. i 100% intended to continue my relationship with this person. we've been friends for a while and i love them and they've been for me. but after this i genuinely have no idea. i went to their place to pick up a package from the porch and had a horrific anxiety attack. didn't even see them, just grabbed it and left and it still left me feeling like i'd gone through something so traumatic.
i just have no idea. i was not happy living there and i am a lot younger than them. any issues i brought up in response to their texts the past few days felt like they were belittled, and that she talked down to me like i was a kid. i am not. it's just hard for me to even see them as the person i was friends with. just a hostile stranger. i just can't feel bad for moving out and prioritizing my own happiness and i no longer want to be talked down to like i'm an idiot, irresponsible child. they are struggling and i wanted to help them, but i genuinely feel like i can't ever see them face to face again.
no idea how to navigate this. feel so blindsided.