u/Dwarf5401

I had my first sexual encounter at 25, but I couldn't go through with it. I feel so ashamed. I walked away from her flat in the morning in so much pain, and I ended up smoking three cigarettes at once. I’m afraid she will leave me. But more importantly, after several months of being in a relationship, I feel that I don't need anyone. Even when sleeping with a girl or kissing getting almost to the point of sex I feel nothing. I feel like my depression, a year of antidepressants, and the PTSD from war killed my sexual desire and desire for creating a family. I'm just a pity shell of a man.