AITA for telling my wife she should move in with her family because of constant third wheeling?
Me (30M) and my wife (30F) had a big fight because her brother (22M) has just been disqualified from driving because of numerous speeding tickets over the last year an a half. He is a selfish piece of shit with major main character syndrome and he does barely anything for his family. Her dad is deaf and he doesn't work. We originally lived far away from her family but last year we decided to move a bit closer so she could be closer to her family and help her mum out a bit more. Her brother was the only one driving in the house to do groceries and help run errands but now that responsibility is going to fall solely on my wife.
I previously told my wife that she seems to be taking more time out from our lives to deal with her families issues and I had this discussion with my best friend who basically said that's part of my life now since we moved closer.
A few months ago my wife's family decided to move out abruptly from her grandparents house because there was issues with her mum and her grandma (Her family are south Asian and it's common to live with your in-laws). They were homeless for almost a month whilst looking for a place and I sort of "agreed" to let them stay with us. I say agreed but it was more I didn't really have a choice and saying NO would have had been more negatively on me... The entire finding them a house process, my wife dealt with whilst her brother literally did F all. Her dad being deaf and also having a terrible sleeping schedule, I had to go to all the viewings with them.
Now this thing happening basically lead to our argument boiling over the top and I essentially said to her, she should just move in with her family at this rate because this'll no doubt cut more into our marriage and I never really signed up for that. I'm not suggesting leaving or anything but I'm in a position where either I stay with my wife and deal with her family as a constant third wheel in our marriage or go our separate ways. Both situations are a loss for me...
She started to cry and called me selfish and "privileged" for not having to do the same for my own family.
I don't feel like I'm selfish for not wanting something I never signed up for in marriage but at the same time I feel like I'm being an asshole...so am I the asshole?