Yay, Im "getting better".
I think at 32 years old, I can confidently say I’m not some overly emotional girl who falls apart over a man.
My relationships always lasted 2+ years, and I can honestly admit that in some of them, I was the one who messed up badly. Breakups are never easy, even when you’re already emotionally checked out.
But my experience with a dismissive avoidant? Absolute psychological warfare.
He used to break up with me regularly. Never for long. Usually after he did something stupid — got drunk, disappeared, ignored me, ended things over the internet. I hate putting people into boxes, but realizing that the greatest love and greatest pain of my life was basically a textbook dismissive avoidant felt surreal.
And I still stayed.
We were together for 5 years. The first 2 were beautiful. The other 3? Constant breakups and reconciliations. The classic cycle.
Last year he left for 3 months. We got back together. The patterns stayed, but I could genuinely see effort this time.
Then at the end of January, it happened again. Another discard. Again over the internet.
Since then, he has not asked me once how I am. Not once. Never reached out. I’m blocked everywhere. We’ve been no contact for a month now, and he doesn’t even answer emails anymore.
“ I went too far and I can’t see a way back anymore.”
“It is what it is. I’m moving forward and I’m not looking back.”
“I don’t see a reason to discuss anything except returning our things. I don’t want contact anymore. No, it wasn’t a game. I loved you, but it’s over. That’s all.”
This is a warning to everyone who knows exactly what kind of person they’re dealing with, but stays because they love them too much. Because sometimes you do see effort. Sometimes you really believe this time will be different.
Three months later, I don’t cry every single day anymore. I can go over a week without trying to contact him. I even genuinely smiled again recently.
But being discarded by an avoidant changes you.
Once is enough. Don’t go back. Run and don’t look back.
The second time — even when you know exactly what they are capable of — hits your soul so deeply it genuinely feels like death.
You explain to them how badly they hurt you. You see in their eyes that they never wanted to destroy you.
And then they do it again anyway.
And you… after 3 months… you realize this experience will stay with you forever.
And honestly?
You never needed to go through this to learn the lesson.
Do I love him? Yeah, deeply. Do i regret I stayed for so long? F#@k yeah. Was it worth it? No. Wasted time, hurt ego, mind in panic. But I guess Im gettong better... This will be a looong dark period in my life.
If you're positive, you are dealing with an avoidant RUN
I used GPT for translation and overal form.