u/Easy-Problem5219

My partner 32M and I 28F are at odds right now. We are potty training our son …or we are at least trying too. He’s being stubborn about it and its been a battle. We have been telling him he will be able to pick out a remote control monster truck he’s really wanted once he learns to go potty.

Well my partner decided to take him and buy one … the one night I went out with my girlfriends and thinks I’m overreacting for being upset and for multiple reasons. Im upset he didn’t even discuss this with me before hand and then completely rewired our plan for potty training. Now he “ wont let him open it “ until he goes potty but again none of this was ever run by me. Im also upset I feel i missed a milestone with them like i was left out or it feels like he wanted me to be upset while i was out. Am i overreacting or am i valid in my feelings here?

Edit: The reward of the truck wasn’t the only method to get him to potty train but it was a good motivator for him when he started to regress in the potty training we were doing. Also very open to suggestions and ideas for that!

I feel as though this has a lot of context, so I will try to keep it short and sweet!

My close friend and I have been going through very similar relationship problems and have been confiding in each other for a really long time about our issues with our partners and it’s gotten as far as us both planning on leaving them. We’ve talked about getting an apartment together and raising our kids together ( she has a girl i have a boy similar ages) we’ve talked about moving separately and how we can support one another.

My engagement failed I have been in therapy and doing work on myself personally. I have really submerged myself in books on how to be a better partner a better relationship all of those things to try to actually build my relationship back to see if we can continue to move forward rather than separate. I feel as though through therapy I have grown so much, but that growth has also put strain on my friendships as well…. this one especially. For me I think the strain comes from her lying about doing the things that I am actually doing and she has done a complete 180 overnight. She tells people she is in therapy and had so many revelations and shes never once seen a therapist. Now her partner has become “Mr. perfect” in a matter of weeks. They’re buying a house planning for more kids calling him her husband even tho they aren’t engaged yet. I do see how this can also be jealousy from me creeping in because those ARE all the things I would like to be talking about with my partner and we are just not there right now. But shes always complaining how great everybody’s life looks on social media so I fear she is just settling for what looks good. It’s really frustrating to watch somebody fake the work that you’re actually doing and then also reap the benefits.

I know that my focus should be on my relationship and my relationship only, but am I for feeling like its all a little off putting. Ive been very happy for her through this whole thing but i cant help feeling like I want to distance myself if she is capable of lying about so many things and then also flipping the switch so abruptly to now having the “perfect life” overnight my body just doesn’t read that as genuine. am I just throwing myself a pity party at this point or is my wanting to distance myself valid here?

Tl:dr partner is supposed to sign us up for counseling and has yet to do so. He is in school as well as work yand says thats why he hasnt gone through with it yet. Am i being baited or is this legitimate?

My partner (M32) and I ( F28) have been together for 7 years total. we were engaged for 2ish years and I broke our engagement due to lack of trust, and his unhealthy life style addictions like Gambling and smoking weed every day. We have a 3 year old son so my wish was always to work through our issues. They were repetitive enough for me to call it off on the engagement to show him i was serious about needing these issues worked on before we continue forward in a serious relationship.

Needless to say none of it really happened. we were separated but still living together due to the idea we were supposed to be working on getting back to a good place. It’s coming up on a year since the engagement ended and still no couples counseling. To clarify, I expressed to him that I needed him to seek out couples therapy to prove his efforts towards wanting to fix the relationship which is why I have not done so myself. I did however get myself into individual sessions to help myself through this whole situation as well as diving into books podcasts anything i can really do to learn how to be better. Somethings have improved,but not the things that I’ve really asked for …like the gambling and the weed and the counseling of course.

He is in school as well as working so I am understanding of the fact time is a bit crunched at this point. I guess im wondering if im being drug along for as long as I’ll allow it or if this is a normal circumstance due to school and work taking up most of not all of his time.