CT angiogram panic
All thoughts welcome please.
I had a CT Angiogram today because i have very high lipoprotein B. And a calcium score of 60 in my abdominal aorta from a previous simpler scan. I've already agreed to start statins but the (cold and arrogant) doctor wanted me to do this test.
I knew the test was going to include intravenous contrast iodine solution. but i wasn't prepared to be told id be getting nitroglycerin pill and an intravenous beta blocker. the thought that id have an IV in my arm and be in a machine and be given medication that would slow my heart and cause dizziness and possible fainting sent me into one of the most (internal, you could not tell by looking at me) panics i've ever had. fainting is like my number one fear and it's happened in my life maybe 4 times. but the idea of being trapped with an in on that ct table and injected with medication that would make me lightheaded was terrifying to me. I would rather have a finger cut off than be in that situation.
so I did the test WITHOUT the nitroglycerin or beta blockers. they said that was an option but that the image quality would be much worse. maybe useless. and the test cost 1000$
i'm overwhelmed with shame over my inability to do this. i've had a c section, a hysterectomy- thyroid biopsy with no anesthesia none of those scared me like this for some reason. It felt like being told I was going to be killed on that table. I know it doesn't make sense but?
so
anyway now i wait for the (maybe too blurry to see anything) results. and sit in shame over the money and radiation exposure and my fear. Thoughts?