Ex 22M dumped me twice, trashed me to his family, never said sorry, wanted me to move near his hostile mom. Now he’s back. I’m 19F and terrified of being alone, but I think I already know what happens in chapter 3.
The first time he broke up with me, I thought my world ended. We were long distance, so every good morning text felt like oxygen. When he pulled away, I panicked. I sent paragraphs. I responded in 0.2 seconds. Nothing was ever fast enough or reassuring enough for him
Somehow we got back together. I told myself it would be different. It wasn’t.
The second time, it hurt a lot less because I saw it coming. He’d show me screenshots of his mom calling me names. Not to warn me — just to show me. He’d vent about me to his siblings, his cousins, anyone who’d listen. Then he’d take whatever mood he was in out on me that night. When I’d cry and ask him to stop, he’d say I was too sensitive. He never once said, “I messed up, I’m sorry.” without it being followed by “but you did this so it was justified.”
The kicker? He always said LDR was hard, but he’d never even *consider* moving. Instead, he wanted me to drop my life and move to his town — where his mom and half his family already decided they hated me. I’d be alone, with no backup, and he couldn’t promise he’d defend me.
So he dumped me. Again.
Now he’s back. Saying he misses me. Saying he’s changed. And the worst part is, a tiny piece of me still lights up when his name pops up. Because when it was good, it was really good. And because I’m 19, and my dumb brain whispers, “What if he’s the only one who ever wants you?”
I know that’s not true. I know I’m not perfect. I know I tried so hard I lost pieces of myself. But I also know if I say yes, I’m signing up for chapter 3 of the same book. And I already read that ending twice.
I guess I’m asking: How do you stay kind to someone who hurt you, while being ruthless about protecting yourself? How do I block the number when my hands are shaking? How do I believe I’ll be okay alone?
I don’t want revenge. I just want peace. And I don’t want to learn this lesson a 4th time.