For context, I work 5 days a week, usually 12-hour shifts (7 a.m. to 7 p.m.), and I actually have 2 jobs. During the week, I barely have time for anything because after work I still have to make my lunch for the next day and take care of normal life stuff.
Because of that, weekends are basically my only chance to rest. I’m also very much a night owl, not a morning person at all, and when I finally get to sleep in, I sleep deeply. On weekends, I usually don’t set an alarm because it’s my only chance to rest naturally.
This has honestly been a source of conflict for years between my dad, my sister, and me, because they feel like I “sleep too much,” while I feel like I’m just trying to recover from my work week.
Recently, my sister started having an errand every Saturday where she drops off my nephew for a few hours, and she ends up free from around 10:30 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sometimes she wants to come over during that time, and most of the time I say yes. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever told her no.
About 3 weeks ago, she came over without telling me first. She waited outside my house for maybe 15–30 minutes, calling and texting me, but I was fully asleep and didn’t hear anything. I’m not exaggerating—I woke up naturally later because I had to go to the bathroom and saw all the missed calls.
I immediately called her and apologized, telling her to come back because I had genuinely been asleep. She said no, that she wasn’t coming back, but that I could go to her house if I wanted. So I did, and I thought everything was fine.
The next week, we planned to get together on Sunday for lunch. To me, “lunch” means like 2 or 3 p.m. But she had gone to the zoo with my nephew, and when they left around 11 a.m., she called asking if she could just come over right then since she was already nearby.
I told her it was too early and asked if I could sleep a little longer. Later, when I was more awake, I called her and apologized and asked if I could come over instead, and she said okay.
Then this weekend, she texted me saying she didn’t want to be alone and that she was going to wait outside my house until I woke up. She kept calling me for like 20–30 minutes, but my phone had literally fallen under my bed, so I didn’t hear it.
When I finally woke up about an hour later, I saw everything and immediately started texting and calling her, apologizing and asking her to answer. She ignored me and now she’s mad.
I feel bad, but at the same time… she knows I sleep late on weekends. She knows this has been a thing for years. I feel like if she decides to show up unannounced (or way earlier than expected), knowing there’s a real chance I won’t wake up, it’s unfair to get angry at me for it.
It’s not like I’m ignoring her on purpose.
So… AITA?