Dear Fathers,
Should I visit with a priest? Should I become a crypto Catholic?
My family is Orthodox (wife, young son, myself).
I long to be reunited with Rome. I find Catholicism makes more sense to me on paper.
Most NO masses I find too protestant. Some I find perfect. I am a protestant convert to Orthodoxy, but I am more western in temperament even as I love many aspects of Orthodoxy. I am not at home in overtly Ukrainian divine liturgies - which is what the Eastern Rite parishes are near me. My ancestors were all French Catholic. I long to pray in the faith of my ancestors.
I find Orthodox polemics and arguments unsatisfactory and rather stubborn. We are so close theologically! I see the importance of a first among equals (which Orthodox adhere to), but we lack a true first among equals in my mind.
However, I worry my already nominal Orthodox family might drop out of Christian belief altogether if I make the move.
Should I go to confession and become a secret Catholic or bear this Cross and remain in this situation? Am I falling into delusion?
Thank you for your time.