Advice you would give a new Room Leader in their 20’s
I’m in my early twenties and have worked at a nursery (my first ever full time job and my third job ever) for coming up to four years, in the preschool room. I completed my childcare qualification last year with a Distinction somehow… even though the imposter syndrome truly runs rampant and I thought I would fail. I should mention I was also diagnosed as Autistic last year.
My current room leader is leaving and everyone has kind of just assumed and accepted that I will be room leader as I’ve been in the room for four years and know what I’m doing, and make and adapt routines based on children’s development accordingly, all at a good speed, reliable and punctual.
I can’t really talk to any colleagues about the extreme anxiety I am feeling around this as they all see my strengths and it’s common for people to gloss over the struggles of being neurodivergent. But I am petrified! It would be me in the room with new-ish under 20 year old staff and I’ve also thought of myself better as the assistant or Senior Nurse… whereas with the Room Leader title, you have to really LEAD. You have to have all the answers at the forefront of your brain for Ofsted and higher-ups, as well as telling these 30-40 year old parents advice on their kids, as well as moulding the new staff… as well as having that creative eye that I don’t have, at least not compared to the room leaders I have had before.
As an autistic person, I can sometimes see rules in black and white and I worry I will annoy everyone by being super rigid with specific rules, and also I struggle to communicate and it takes me weeks to process and understand my own emotions - such as realising two weeks after a stressful day ‘oh i was so overstimulated, i probably should have asked to leave the room for 5 minutes’.
I fear I will end up doing everything and all daily tasks including cleaning (by choice) as I worry other people won’t do stuff ‘the right way’ i.e. the way I have planned it in my head, or fast/efficiently enough. I know I need to let go of this anxiety and the only way is by flooding, throwing myself into the situation.
I know in the logical side of my brain I will (hopefully) be okay as I have always been on top of the technological side of things, like parent updates, and the paperwork side of things like children’s progress reports. But the pressure of the room leader title is breaking me! Even to the point of vivid nightmares (which I never really experience)
I am going to do my best to not put myself in any box and make sure parents are aware that our main focus is always the kids and a strong team, and a change of room leader won’t make any difference, but I can’t ignore these feelings of anxiety I am having, another example being that my other room leaders have had an angelic aura and sort of baby-voice that I, as an autistic person, don’t have due to my monotonous voice and my constant masking that parents don’t seem as eager to engage with (compared to more loud personalities). The kids and parents more see me as the chill person, and often tell me I look so calm in chaos, even if I’m panicking inside due to overwhelm and overstimulation. I’m going to try not to pretend to be an age I’m not but all other room leaders have been older or at least late twenties, or a leadership personality.
I would be so grateful if anyone could pass along any tips to help my time go smoother! Any words of wisdom