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In my heart I only feel loneliness, I don't know what it's like to feel affection anymore, it's been so long since I felt a warm hug, I don't know if the problem is me in general or some attitude of mine, I just wanted to be able to feel that feeling again. In the early hours of the morning I watch videos waiting for a message from anyone, it seems like you just want to be noticed, you want to talk no matter who it is, you want to vent, talk about the good things and the bad things, sometimes not even that, just talk about random things from everyday life, you just want to feel that you are important to someone, feel that if you leave you will be missed by someone, it's hard to deal with this feeling, even more so when you have to pretend to be strong, you can't falter, you can't complain and much less cry, because that won't change anything. I wish I could feel my mother's or father's embrace, but it's not that they're gone, it's just that I don't know how to ask or reach them. My relationship with them has never been very good. I just wish I could do this without being questioned, without them asking me why I'm doing it. That would mean a lot to me.