I'm getting married, how do i go about cutting my father and his family out of my life?
I (F27) got engaged last year and plan on getting married in 2027. My dad (M53) has been a father who was physically there but emotionally absent for the first 13 years of my life. Then after the divorce he was only physically there if I reached out first to make plans.
He did offer to pay for my wedding dress but I've already thrifted one.
I just feel indifferent towards him. I can't rely on him, I don't feel the need to confide in him.
The last time I asked him for help was when all three of his daughters, including me, begged him to take custody of his youngest daughter. I even proposed that I would let her live with me if he didn't want to take her in. But his current wife and family weren't to keen on the idea.
And he has the right to decline.
I suppose it's a lot of small seemingly harmless things over the years that have made me feel less like his family and more like an acquaintance.
I'm just tired, and I don't know how to go about starting the process of cutting him off.
I'm worried if I do it now he will of course get mad and try to come to my house and demand answers that will never be good enough.
I can also see him trying to find out my wedding details and showing up uninvited. Potentially getting into a fight with my step-dad who will be there. Then telling my mom who also isn't coming to the wedding. (Her choice not mine) Which would lead to my mom refusing to let my little sister see me ever again.
But I don't want to just ghost him because that feels like the cowards way out of this situation.
I'm leaning more towards keeping him out of the loop with wedding details and then fully cutting him off after. But I'm scared he'll somehow find out and the above incidents will come to pass anyway.
Tl;DR Should I cut my dad off before or after the wedding? How should I break the news to him?