u/Economy-Comfort1597

I have done the research. I have run the numbers. I have looked at this from every angle. The conclusion is inescapable.

Michael Jordan averaged 30.1 points, 5.3 assists, and 2.3 steals per game over his career with a 49.7% field goal percentage and a 32.7% three-point percentage. LaBaron Philon, as a college sophomore, averaged 22.0 points, 5.0 assists, and 1.2 steals per game while shooting 50.1% from the field and 39.9% from three.. The numbers don’t lie, people. Philon is already shooting a HIGHER field goal percentage and a significantly higher three-point percentage than Jordan ever did.

Here is my roadmap:

Memphis drafts LabarGOAT at No. 16. Next, Philon adds 15 pounds of muscle because he is currently 176 pounds and is literally a noodle. Then, Philon demands Jordan-level respect from the entire league. Finally, Jordan acknowledges him personally and then he will deliver 7 rings to the FedEx forum.

If you are once again doubting my ball knowledge:

The goat(Philon) averaged 22 points, 5 assists, 3.5 rebounds, and 1.2 steals on 50/40/80 splits as a college sophomore. Jordan’s 50/40/90 club membership is legendary, and my pookie is already at the door knocking. Also, in the tournament, the second coming averaged 24.3 points, 7.7 assists, and 7.0 rebounds per game. He rose to the occasion.

The Grizzlies have picks No. 3 AND No. 16 this draft. Philon is projected to fall right into the 14-16 range. This is not a drill. The basketball gods are handing us the future greatest player of all time on a silver platter. Draft Boozer at 3 and Philon at 16, watch the banner get raised.

He is the second coming. Let me know if you’re all in on the LabAron Philon experience as well!!!!

Everyone’s drinking the Kool-Aid on Zach Edey. Meanwhile, the most criminally underutilized and underrated two-way weapon in the league is suiting up every night in Memphis and the front office treats him like a throw-in. It’s truly abhorent.

Cam Spencer averaged 11 points last season. “That’s not elite,” you say. Those aren’t just points, those are high-IQ, winning basketball points.

There has been a lot of chatter about building around “The Big Maple”. Zach Edey is a liability. Seven feet tall and somehow the Grizzlies are slower and worse every time he’s on the floor. You want to build around a Canadian college novelty act while Cam Spencer is right there barking at Kevin Durant and giving it his all every night? Incredible.

Cam Spencer’s net rating when he plays more than 22 minutes and the Grizzlies get 8+ offensive rebounds? +19.4. His assist-to-turnover ratio in clutch situations trails only three players in the league. Two of them are in the Hall of Fame and one of them is LeBron. His defensive win shares per 48 minutes, adjusted for opponent quality and altitude, place him comfortably in the 94th percentile.

He just fucking wins. That’s it.

Some players make other players better. Some players make coaches look smarter. Some players walk into a gym and the energy shifts. Cam Spencer is all three of those things simultaneously and if you’ve watched him for more than four minutes you already know this. His teammates play looser. His opponents play tighter. The ball moves differently when he’s involved. These are not things that show up in a box score and that is precisely why analytics bros will never understand him. You cannot quantify winning DNA. You cannot put a number on being a fucking DOG. Cam Spencer wants to more than anyone on that roster and it isn’t close.

I’m not saying blow it up. I’m saying the answer has been in the locker room the whole time and Tuomas is too busy drawing up plays for a 7-footer who moves like he’s underwater to notice.