u/Economy-Gur7670

J’ai acheté une paire de casque Sony (MX5) et j’ai reçu une bouteille de bière à la place.

Le vendeur (basé en Italie) affirme maintenant que l’article a bien été expédié et dit avoir une vidéo de l’emballage du colis.

Cela fait 2 jours que j’ai signalé le problème, et Vinted a laissé le vendeur répondre au litige (remboursement de 9 € sur an article acheté 150€, très généreux) au lieu d’intervenir eux-mêmes. Que devrais-je faire ensuite ?

My fiancé and I have an agreement that if one person cooks, the other person does the dishes. If we both cook, we both clean. This was something he set up because he doesn’t really cook.

Tuesday night I cooked and he said he was too tired to do the dishes, so they stayed overnight. The next morning, I left them because I expected him to do them then, which has happened before. He ended up doing them, but later asked why I hadn’t done them myself.

I said because I cooked and he was supposed to do the dishes. He got annoyed and called me “calculating.” That really upset me because this isn’t the first time he’s said that.

We’ve also argued before about cleaning. During the week I already do a lot of little things around the house without making a big deal about it like wiping things down, cleaning the microwave/fridge, laundry, tidying up, etc. Since he works more than I do, I already naturally pick up more of the day-to-day stuff.

The only thing I asked was that twice a month we do a bigger clean together (dusting, passing the Hoover everywhere, windows if needed, etc.). He also called me calculating over that because he felt like I was trying to make everything “50/50 by demanding we clean together.

The thing is, I don’t feel like I’m trying to make everything exactly equal. I actually think I already do more around the house overall. I just think if we agree on certain responsibilities, it’s reasonable to expect the other person to follow through sometimes.

What made me even more frustrated is that when he called me calculating, I started listing examples of things I do around the house when he’s not there to show that I’m obviously not sitting there keeping score all the time. But then he said the fact that I could list examples at all was “proof” that I’m calculating. Then I tried to reason with him from a different angle by asking, for example, how would he feel if after he took me on a date, I asked him to buy me something else and if he couldn’t I got upset. He got even more upset by the example because he says it’s proof that that’s how I really feel; like he can’t afford to get things for me and made it about this example that I clearly started was an example, and I had even stated already that I have no problem with our date nights or what he gets me.

Now we’re both upset. I feel insulted because “calculating” sounds manipulative and transactional to me. He feels attacked because I brought up going out more/buying me more things as an example.

Am I actually being unreasonable/calculating here?