Heading for heartbreak?
Long time lurker, first time poster here. I'm in a bit of an emotional pickle and would like some advice from people that are more clearheaded than I. It's going to be a bit of a ramble so sorry for that in advance.
So, a few years back I met two guys (pretty much one month apart) - we'll call one Rob and the other one we'll call Peter. Rob lives in a different country (about 5 hrs travel by plane), Peter lives in my country and I started with both of them a kind of FWB situationship.
Rob is, intellectually, right up my alley - we like a lot of the same things, we vibe with the same music, same videogames, etc. We've travelled together a lot these past years, but we've never had The Talk about anything serious because I was never really interested about anything serious. I was very much into him for a while, but for about a year or so, my interest kinda fizzled. We still have a good time when we're together minus the sex part - that has become extremely boring and I'm no longer attracted to him physically. He does tend to be selfish and self-involved (which I kind of also am) and even though we talk on a daily basis, he never really asks me about my day or about the things i'm going through, it's mostly me that asks him about his things. Rob is also very financially stable, I've met a lot of his friends and his family as well, and he is almost always up for making plans in advance. I also think he might want something more serious with me.
Peter, on the other hand - is tangentially right up my alley. We like some of the same things, and we vibe with some of the same music, etc. Up until recently I haven't really paid attention to him from an emotional perspective, but lately, for a few months now, I think I've been falling for him pretty hard. The sex is, well, out of this world. I've had quite a few partners so far, but nothing on his level. It's absolutely insane how he knows how to push just the right buttons. But, on the other hand, he is completely all over the place - he works as a freelancer - he is awfully disorganized, he is not financially stable (his income is considerably lower than mine). We've never, in all the time spent together, actually spent a night together, but we've gone out a few times, but mostly it was just sex at his place or my place. We do spend time chatting and talking about things before and after sex, but nothing world shattering (except the sex). However, a few months ago he asked me to go to a concert with him (it was an unknown band that I'd discovered and that I shared with him) and some friends. I was elated, as it was a very nice and cute thing to do, and I was impressed he remembered this complete unknown of a band. Since then, we've gone out on what might be though of as dates (walk in the park, having lunch or dinner, always followed by mind-bendingly good sex), and we did talk about planning a week-end away together at one point. The problem is that, since he's so disorganized, there's not a lot of planning in advance we can do, and that just annoys me to no end. I'm very anal when it comes to planning things. Anyway, I do think about him every day and I get a flutter in my body whenever he writes to me - we've been talking each day pretty much since the night of the concert. We've established from the beginning that we don't want anything serious, but I kinda want something serious with him now.
The problem is - I'm in a pickle about what to choose. And if I should choose, basically. On the one hand, do I go for the safe option that won't satisfy me sexually but will probably satisfy other desires and needs, or do I go for the definite heartbreak option that will satisfy me sexually, but that will most likely end up in disaster as I'll grow resentful about not being able to go often on vacations or to be able to plan things.
Help? :)