God saved me from myself.
I used to have an ideation that I would find peace in death. I even told my own partner in the past that “The only way I can find peace is in death.” I lived with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. I am currently doing better than ever! Thank God.
I opened the Bible last week and something struck me to my core. I read Acts 2:24. “But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him.”
Agony in death… I realized that if someone ends their own life, the Holy Spirit would not be in them so they die straight into their agony. The Holy Spirit would never lead someone to their death and would never speak words of death. There’s only peace if you die baptized in the Holy Spirit.
Since then I grieved for who I use to be and now I made a promise to never say things such as “I wanna die” or “I can find peace in death”. Now I grieve for those who are broken and I now see that those who truly gives their life to Jesus are true warriors. I want to be a light and touch the hearts of many people.