u/EcstaticVoid

T2

STIR

Left is after (today), right is before (1.5 years ago)

Context: diagnosed with spondylolysis (pars fractures) with a very trace slip (borderline grade 0-1). Pursued conservative approaches to try to avoid surgery for a year before being offered a pars direct repair which failed to fully fuse (surgeon did not graft the entire fracture). However CT still shows the screws in correct position and not loose at all so they should not be causing pain.

Despite all this I am still in a lot of constant 24/7 pain only in my low back, not radiating to my legs (which I used to have a year ago, no longer have) which feels like a horrible deep burn and ache that does not improve with any position - even laying down does not help. It is bad enough to the point I have been to the ICU twice in the past few weeks and IV Dilaudid (hydromorphone) + Toradol, and oral oxycodone and Celebrex etc did almost nothing for the pain. There are some days where the pain is bearable (drops to a 5-6/10) but 99% of the time my pain is a 9-10 and the best way to describe it is it feels as bad as the pain I had after my last surgery after the nerve blocks wore off.

I've been to multiple surgeons and doctors and pain management clinics to try to figure out the source of my pain and no one can figure it out. My muscles are weak and tight from 1.5 years of movement restrictions for my fractures and surgery and I am desperate to get back to strengthening them but just basic living is unbearable, and all PT I've been to just makes me do basic core stabilization / isometrics which don't help me at all.

My pain is worse now than it was 1.5 tears ago when I had the fracture and disc and sciatica. Asking on here for some hope as a last resort because no other professional can figure out what's wrong with me. Check my post history in the r/Spondylolisthesis subreddit to see how badly this has impacted my life. Thanks in advance.

I lost my entire life to this shit. I worked 1000x harder than anyone else I know because I was dealt a shit hand in life. Worked 3 jobs in college, didn't have a car took the bus everywhere, dealt with relentless lack of sleep and fatigue from overwork. Had debt from taking on risky side business ventures that failed. Managed to finally get a job in tech in the only company that even gave me an interview. Was youngest on my team worked 12 hours a day got promoted the fastest given the most responsibility, pushed myself hardest in the gym 2 hours powerlifting 5 days a week while everyone else did easy 3 day splits etc, finally had the courage to ask out the girl I wanted to marry since I was 14 and we got engaged, I was in the best physical shape of my life, financially stable, life felt like a dream and I was finally able to reap the rewards of all the years of hardship.

Then this back injury ruined me I got misdiagnosed by countless doctors saying nothing was wrong with my spine, then misled by multiple surgeons who offered me procedures and surgeries that they knew wouldn't work. Lied to by people on this subreddit claiming procedures worked for their daughters' "7mm chronic fractures" but refused to show their CT scans. My fiance left me and I have to watch as she gets engaged to another guy, my friends forgot about me and the few that remain barely check on me, I've spent over $50k on out of pocket medical expenses, lost my down payment on a house, lost my car, about to lose my job and insurance. I just turned 26 so I can't even go under my dad's insurance anymore if I need it.

I've developed CNS hypersensitization and muscle atrophy and stuck in horrible pain literally 24/7 for 2 years now stuck at home. I've been admitted to the ICU twice in the past week with pain so bad even Dilaudid couldn't touch it. I got just a taste of what normal people's lives look like, like giving a hungry lion a taste of meat and then it was all taken away from me after just a year. My pain is worse after treatment than it was before. My life is a comedy.