Boyfriend female friends don’t like me. Need advice.
My boyfriend (31M) and I (32F) have been together for almost three years, and most of our arguments have involved his female friends.
Early in our relationship, there were issues with a former friends with benefits partner whom he remained close to. She was rude to me when we met, and I felt uncomfortable with how close they were. Other female friends of his have also either ignored me or been unfriendly toward me, which has made it difficult for me to feel accepted.
The current issue is with his female best friend. They talk every day from morning until night. While she is the only one who has been somewhat friendly toward me, I feel their friendship crosses boundaries at times. She has offered to send him videos of herself and her friends dancing in thongs, offered to dance on him at parties, and he sees nothing wrong with it.
Recently, we attended a group outing where she spent most of the time separated from everyone else, yet my boyfriend and her were texting each other throughout the event despite being next to each other. Watching them smile at their phones while I was standing right there made me feel uncomfortable and overlooked. Esp as he barely interacted with me. Two of his friends noticed and mentioned the girls distance from us. My boyfriend’s solution was to drag her to sit closer to us. She still didn’t interact with the group and they went back to texting each other.
When I brought it up afterward, he said he did nothing wrong and that their behavior is normal. I tried explaining that my concern is not whether he has romantic feelings for her, but that some of their interactions make me uncomfortable as his partner. He does not seem to understand my perspective.
I love my boyfriend, and outside of issues involving his female friends, our relationship is good. However, I am starting to feel like my concerns are always dismissed and that I am somehow made out to be the problem whenever I raise them. I believe it’s going to be an issue at future social gatherings, especially since he includes the last friend I spoke about in literally everything.
I am looking for advice on how to navigate this situation. How can I discuss boundaries and feelings of being deprioritized without making my boyfriend feel like I am trying to control his friendships?