I wanna download all the apps son my phone so bad but I’m stopping myself because i really need some time off from it and from LO, otherwise, I’ll always think of something to text him, and when the convo’s gonna end, I’m gonna feel that void inside me again. It’s crazy how limerence is so similar to addiction.
There’s this old friend of mine who i’ve had a crush on for years and one time he told me that I’m like a sister for him. Is it really over for me or can he change his mind ?
Just out of curiosity : Do men really prefer mysterious women over women who tend to overshare ? Or do you not mind at all if the girl is showing you that she is really interested in them ? Because from what I’ve seen online, men tend to get bored if a woman shows too much interest in them or if she doesn’t have a layered personality.
.
I feel like one of the hardest parts of limerence is to stop idolising LO and really see them for who they are. I’ve tried re wiring my brain to stop romanticising him by writing down all the things that make him less special, but it’s hard remembering it all when I’m with him or talking to him. The most annoying thing about it is that i always seek for his approval or validation indirectly and if there is a way to bring him in a convo with someone else, i will do it despite my brain screaming not to because it will just put me in a loop mentally. If anyone has any tips, i would appreciate it
Idk if iam more disappointed in me or LO. He is my friend and he never promised me anything beyond that, never flirts, never lets me think that something can happen between us, but everytime i reach out and we talk, and the end of it, i still feel frustrated because i keep telling to myself “ if he liked me, he would have said anything to keep it going even more” but i have no right to feel that way because he is not my boyfriend, not my situationship, nothing but a dear friend.
There is nothing wrong with what he does but i can’t feel disappointed in myself because i keep leading myself in the same path, hoping that one day, the outcome will change. Hope can be a negative feeling when it comes to limerence. I’ve spent years hoping that he would see that iam right in front of him. I feel resentment everytime he doesnt take an opportunity to maybe change our relationship because guess what ? He’s not into me, and i know it, but still, i can’t seem to fully believe it.
But that’s the thing : you can’t keep doing the same thing and hope for a different result. So i decided to delete all my socials where i can reach out to him to take sometime for myself because yesterday was the first day where i felt like i really needed a change in my life.
I am done waiting for him
I’ve realised that since i can’t seem to get LO out of my head- which causes me spiraling, anxiety, self-hatred, obsession and so on- i can try having a more positive approach of limerence. Like laughing it off everytime i think about him, taking things lightly, acting like it’s just a silly crush and listening to my intuition and just living it as it is. Allow myself to be delusional instead of shutting down. Idk if anyone here has tried to do it, if so let me know how you did
Hi,
So there’s this guy who is my friend but I’ve been liking him for years and i know he’s not into me but i just want to know if he can develop feelings for me ? Because I’ve read somewhere that once men put you in a category in their head, they can never change how they see you. If anyone has some tips for me i would appreciate it.
Thank you
It’s been 24h since we last talked (i know it’s still fresh) but iam craving any type of contact with him rn. It’s hard focusing on studying because i keep checking if he texted or not. It’s not healthy and I’m an addict to anything that has to do with him. I have my finals to take next week so i really shouldn’t be limering (is that even a verb haha ?) about him
I noticed that everytime i talk about limerence it’s always “Limerence did” like it’s not my fault, like I’m rejecting any type of responsibility. And while i know i can’t control my mind or my feelings and that it is a hard situation to be in, i also feel like I’m somehow responsible for whats happening. Like i don’t’ do a 100% what i should and that deep down maybe i dont want to be free from it bc i still have hope that something will happen between us. Idk if i articulated my feeling correctly bc it’s hard to translate the way i think into actual words for y’all to read. Lmk if you agree or not
Sometimes, i feel guilty because I’m lucky enough to have limerence as my only problem in life. I have everything i could have ever dreamed of, iam healthy, iam educated, i have amazing parents, incredible friends, i have a roof, food, my own car, my parents take care of my expenses, yet limerence ruins everything and i feel like the biggest idiot bc iam letting a guy affect my life so much. It’s easier said then done when i think about it but I’m sabotaging myself atp
I know that this man is not the one for me, he doesnt meet my standards, he has a bunch of red flags, yet i feel like the only way for me to move on from him is if he gets with someone else. With other men, it has always been easy to cut them off the second they show me they are not made for me, but with him, its been years, yet everytime i talk to him, its like i forget everything i told myself and fall for him more
I feel like ‘.ve been treating this group as a diary hahaha idk if I’m just gaslighting myself but i feel like i can control my limerence more when iam in contact with him bc when i have no news about him iam drowning in uncertainty (always wondering what he is up to) but iam talking to him at least i know but this is so unhealthy idk if its normal to feel that way
I gave in and texted my LO. I was talking to someone i knew on the street and he drove past us and told me hello. I texted him and then felt so bad immediately. Everytime i text him and we end the discussion i try to sit with my emotions and really think about the way iam feeling so that i remember it for the next time I’m craving contact from him but then it feels like i forget everything and go back to my habits. It’s draining me
I feel like because of the fact that I’ve been in this state of mind since my early teens ( I’m in my twenties now), i missed so much and I’ve shaped my mind around those feelings and around limerence. I spent my teenage years being obsessed with someone who only sees my as a friend and now it’s harder to detach from this mindset since I’ve been like this for almost a decade. My mental health is at the worst it has ever been but I’m finding hope in reading other people’s experiences bc it makes me think that i can get over it even though I’m craving any sort of contact with him.
Hello everyone. I am a woman and I’ve decided to write this bc i need help with limerence (English is not my first language so pls be kind).
So the story starts a few years ago, when I was 12 or 13. I was in a small school, where everyone knew each other. In 6th grade, there was this guy (who we are gonna name Steve) who came to my school as a new student. I didn’t really interact with him until 8th grade when a teacher made him sit next to me in class. We started talking little by little and i started developing feelings for him. He was kind, shy, funny, handsome and i completely fell in love with him, but he never implied that we were anything more than friends. I told my friends that i liked him almost 10 months after. Also, the year i started liking him, my family moved next to his house so i took it as a sign haha.
On Valentine’s Day of that same year, a friend came to me and told me that she saw him leaving with a girl that doesn’t go to our school, holding her hand. I was devastated, even more when he didn’t come back to school on that afternoon. I was so jealous that i went and told everyone about what happened. I spent weeks looking for that girls identity until i found her name and her socials and she was so pretty i started being insecure ( not her fault at all it was all me). So i kept my feelings to myself and started detaching from him but i struggled really badly.
The next year, he broke up with her and started dating a bunch of girls back to back. I was so unhappy that i told to myself that i needed to confess my feelings in order to move on. So I did. I sent him a text that was 7 pages long while crying and then slept. The next day, as i already guessed, he told me that he didn’t like me back like that but it would not change our friendship. I was relieved but the next week, he avoided me like the plague until i confronted him and he admitted that he didn’t know how to act bc he wanted to give me space to loose my feelings. Then quarantine happened so we didn’t talk that much and i kind of let go of him.
When we started high school, we started talking again and we started being closer than we ever were. For more than a year, he would call me everyday as soon as he got home, we talked, laughed, had deep convos, always together but nothing happened between us. I dated a guy and he dated another girl but that’s it. He never made plans outside of school with me and he would tell me about girls he liked, which killed me inside. We were really close friends but no one knew that i still loved him. It killed me inside being so close yet so far away from him. As soon as i would come to school, he was the first one that i would look for. I memorised his schedule and i was always there for him.
Now, it’s been years since we graduated high school. He went abroad at first but then came back while i stayed in our home country. We still talk often, but not as much as we used to. He never makes plans for us to hang out, he stopped calling me, he only texts now and we only run into each other in our neighbourhood from time to time.
So i am reaching out because i am struggling to forget about him. I wake up thinking about him, whenever iam somewhere, i hope i will run into him, iam disappointed when i dont receive a text from him, i see him everywhere in my mood, i barely function normally because i still have hope that one day he will wake up. Even though i know that he isn’t the same guy anymore and he is a walking red flag, he doesn’t not meet my current standards, i dont want a relationship with this man because i will loose myself in it and its gonna end badly. My mood depends on if i am talking to him or not : a few days ago, he were texting for like days and he would always to make the convo longer so i got really excited but then one day, he just ended the convo and i felt so sad for the rest of the day. It’s been 3 days since we last texted, but it feels like it’s been weeks and i crave any type of contact with him like an addict.
I’am always sad, tired, my mind takes up too much of my energy, i cant study correctly, i can’t work out bc it makes me think about him, whenever i drive i look for his car ( everyone in our city has the same car as him so i always think about him). I’am related to his best friend so even my family reminds me of him. He practises a sport that i used to do so know even thinking about doing it again makes me think about him. I tried having hobbies, hanging out with friends, keeping myself occupied, but i always imaging that he is next to me and what it would be like if he was with me during that moment.
I know that he doesn’t like me back bc when he likes a girl, he lets her know. He told me that I’m like a sister to him. I know everything that i should know but everytime i see him, it’s like my mind goes to blank, my heart races so much and i am a stupid version of myself ( i hate the person i become when he is involved).
I tried suppressing my thoughts, i tried accepting my tfeelings, i journal, i do so much and yet, it wont go away. I am still attached to the person he used to be and i know that deep inside me i still have hope but i shouldn’t.
I feel like i am always seeking out for his validation and his approval even though he wouldn’t give a f about mine.
Now that I’ve put words into my feelings by discovering what limerence is, it makes feel a little bit better, but i still feel like I’ve been spiralling for 9 years now.
With other men, whenever they showed me their first red flag, i would always be able to cut them off and loose my feelings for them. But with him, it’s seems impossible. And he is also one of my best friends so i dont want to loose our friendship bc it is so precious to me (limerence aside)
Everytime i think about him, i wanna hit my head with the wall
Pls give me ur best and most radical solutions on how to get over him (i tried no contact, it didn’t work either)
Thank you