I can’t get out of my situation
I (20m) have been with my gf (22f) for 3 years now. I consider her my better half and love her more than anything in the world. We’ve built a great life with each other in a city pretty far from where we grew up. We’re doing so great in fact, I’ve been considering proposing later this summer. Nearly my entire family is deeply happy for me and the life I’m building on my own. My mother isn’t one of them. My mom has hated my gf since the day I told her we were officially dating. Her main problems were that my gf was “too old for her baby” (me) and also that she’s white (we’re very black). I knew I could never control either of these factors, but I tried my best to force her to at least be cordial with my gf. Sadly, it never worked. They’ve been in the same room twice and my mom ignored her both times. Because of this, I’ve mostly given up on her. I speak with her once every 5-6 months over the phone and it’s typically very brief. In no uncertain terms I’ve let her know that a relationship with me means a relationship with my gf. I did what I could and moved on. I can live with this, but my gf can’t. Lately, my gfs been getting more and more upset about her lack of a relationship with my mother as time goes on. She’s been taking it out on me and getting hostile and angry when the topic of my mother comes up. She gets especially upset about it because I get along with her entire family very well. My mom will never budge and my gfs running out of patience. I’m genuinely stuck between a rock and a hard place.