Need more Rigorous Methods for Dissolving Lust (20F)
I've tried all the "soft" methods. Being compassionate to yourself, trying to divert the energy elsewhere, getting more hobbies, taking on challenging tasks. But the cycle always starts. I see a guy my type and feel desire --> imagination --> shame (when I remember I'm not conventionally attractive) --> self-disgust --> rumination --> some temporary epiphany/boredom. It seriously eats up my time because for some reason, my brain gets fixated on the cycle, analyzing, judging, and/or shaming it. I probably have ADHD and OCD, but it's too expensive to get diagnosed where I live.
And the problem is, the lust is insatiable. Sex is all around but somehow out of reach for me unless I tap into the life of university parties, clubs, etc. But I don't want to take the effort to enter that just for sex, and don't have a natural entry into it anyways because my friends aren't like that. And I don't want to get a boyfriend with that being my main intention, cause I'm not interested in the love or romance aspect.
There's a lot more factoring into this but I'm not sure if its relevant anymore. The main issue is I feel way too much lust (regardless of being a woman, going to the gym and maintaining a healthy lifestyle for years) and it's taking up too much time. Even now, I should be studying for an exam but I'm here instead,
I need more rigorous methods. Please let me know, thank you