Looking for ways to constructively handle a lying issue..
My (30F) daughter (7F) has had an issue with lying.. Started subtle, and had recently become more and more common.
On more than one occasion I've made it vehemently clear that i don't condone lying. Trust is huge. Honesty gets us through everything because it sets us up with the ability to navigate every situation. I can help you with anything, but i can't help you through a lie.
Small punishments when caught lying (i.e, spend some time alone in your room)
I was pulled aside by a classmates of my daughter's mother today..
She asked me (very politely) if i was my daughter biological mother, because we are basically twins she didn't think there was anyway we weren't.. well it led into a conversation about how my daughter had told her daughter that her "real mom" had died & that they live in a car with her other mom. & when her classmates confronted her Mabel was crying that no one believed her & that everyone was so mean..
I was mortified.
We aren't "rich" but my children have more than they need & 99% of what they want.. well live in a beautiful home. Surrounded by great neighbors (most of them being kids on her school). Our life is nothing but a blessing & we practice gratitude as often as we can.
Not to mention ; IM ALIVE????
i gave her the opportunity to tell me what was happening with her friends, asked about what she would make these things up.
She mention she needed attention & none of her friends were listening to her & she felt ignored.
We had a long talk about how asking for attention is ok but lying to get attention is inappropriate.
I ask if she was upset with me or our relationship, she was adamant that it was just to get her friends to listen to her..
We had a conversation about how to appropriately ask for attention, or ask people to listen to us. We have conversations about not being able to control other people and how they treat us & that lying isn't a short cut to control.
Idk i guess I'm asking for help or a listening ear.
I'm at a loss.. I'm disappointed. & idk what to do from here.
I feel like I'm failing as a parent.
Is volunteering a good idea? Show her how great our life truly is?
Ground her from hanging out with friends to teach her that you can't treat friends poorly by lying to them?
If anyone's been through something similar or has any advice i would love to hear it.