A new member, another journey, Week 2
Salaam Alaykoom everyone,
I’m new to this subreddit, but we all have the same mission so I don’t feel too new to you all. Started PMO early, around age 10 or 12, and have attempted stopping without any real success (nothing over a week). I’m now a 30yo M. My attempts in the past have been to continue M (reduced frequency) without P. Surely there’s wisdom in why everyone is trying to stop M, so I’ll add this to my plan, but in my mind the main filth I wish to conquer is P*rn.
So here we are: I’m 1-2 weeks in (I honestly don’t care to keep track of the days because I’m trying to end the filth for life). Came close to a fumble last night, but I’m still doing well Alhamdulellah. I do my obligatory fasting and Arafat. I fulfill all my prayers and 12 daily sunnahs, but am fast in my prayer (Tbf I’m typically fast in all my daily tasks, not just prayer, but I obviously should do better). I’ve stopped any P on my laptop successfully for months, the phone is the main issue.
One unique thing: I’ve made an oath to myself (I am afraid to ever make an Oath to Allah), to give sadaqa if I ever fumble. Having the mindset of, do I really want to give $20 for a moment of pleasure, is what made me reach 2 weeks: I was about to fail last night, and decided to pay that charity due to how close I got to failure. Hopefully that’ll make sure I don’t approach the cliff again.
Will try to keep up with updates, but even if I don’t repost it doesn’t mean I failed. I honestly don’t care about milestones, I’m in it for life, and will rinse and repeat if needed, wal ayathoo bellah. Support me with your thoughts and dua, please.