Mom might not accept her possible grandchild
I'm 30F and have been living with a woman for ten years. Granted, we have a sort of unconventional relationship, I guess you could call it queerplatonic, but I want to continue living with her for a long time and she wants to live with me so that's that, we're happy together. Recently, my mom (who has always been pretty supportive of me being bi) has been telling me more and more that I should "settle down" (implication very clearly being I should find a man) and leave my partner. I have been hesitant to introduce my partner to the larger family (because mom has been warning me that my grandparents might not understand) and my mom has apparently decided that it means I want to hide her from them? But now that my dad suggested she come to meet my grandma and aunt, mom had a bad reaction to that too. Not to mention that last time they met my partner, mom started crying about it and demanded I move away from her.
I am an only child so I thought mom was anxious about grandchildren, which neither me nor my partner have ruled out. We had a talk about this and were both pretty emotional, and she sort of let it slip that she would not consider a grandchild hers if they were not biologically both mine and my partner's -- since we're both afab, that is not going to happen. Apparently she has been hoping I will turn straight as I grow older.
I don't know what I want from this post. I'm just upset. We are both in difficult times in our lives, my grandma has dementia and my mom is her primary caregiver and I am unemployed, so we're both under a lot of stress. But I don't know if I can ever unhear this.