AITA for telling my sister that she is the common denominator in her failed relationships?
I'm using a throwaway account for anonymity.
My (28M) sister (31F) has always struggled with dating. She takes pride in her appearance, has a good job, and has owned her own house for years, so can start dating people easily. Unfortunately, after a few months, the relationships always start to collapse.
In her most recent relationship: she met "Tony" (34M) on a dating app in late January, and they hit it off. She was immediately spending weekends away with him, and he was meeting the family and we were being told that he was 'the one'. We were even hearing that they were spending time going into jewellery shops and earmarking rings for a future proposal.
Around a week ago, we heard from my sister that it's over, and he initiated the break up. She started off with saying that she was heartbroken and she thought he was different than the other guys she's dated, but clearly he was just like the rest and didn't know a good thing when he saw it. She showed us the text conversation that resulted in their break up, and it read exactly like her past 3 or 4 break ups she's had - after the honeymoon period, she has a tendency to 180 on some of the characteristics that she's built up at the start of the relationship, such as enjoying travel, or being a foodie who loves cooking. In reality, she doesn't like going anywhere but resorts for a holiday, and she orders takeaway food more than anyone I've ever met. These aren't inherently bad qualities, but she'll start dating someone who is drawn to the idea that their new girlfriend will go camping, or they'll cook nice meals together, when after about month 3 she'll suddenly act like those things are the worst idea anyone's ever had. She also has a tendency to expect the guy to fall in line immediately, and if they don't, they're controlling and abusive. In this instance, because Tony didn't want to sell some festival tickets they'd agreed to buy a couple of months ago, she had called him a bunch of names and suggested that he go talk to his GP about his clear control issues - Tony (fairly) called the relationship there and then, and blocked her.
It was when she then started saying that she was going to message Tony's boss and suggest that he needs removing from his role (he works in a job where he interacts with children) because of his 'narcissism', that I snapped and said that she was the main reason her relationships end, and that if she was just honest with the guys she dated, she might find someone who actually shares in her interests and then they might stay together. She immediately started crying and stormed out of the house, and about half an hour later I had our mother on the phone saying that I have to apologise for being cruel (I'm sure it'll come as a surprise to no one that my sister has been enabled by our parents our entire lives, and this is likely why she feels so entitled to have things all her own way). I'm not above apologising if I'm wrong, but would welcome an outside view.