u/Empress-Delila

My kitten passed yesterday due to a reaction from anesthesia. She was getting spayed. I keep thinking what if I just didn't get her spayed. Then she would still be here and she wouldn't have died. She was just 8 months and full of life. It happened so suddenly and I was so excited to get her spayed and bring her home just to return home without her. Seeing the playpen I set up for recovery hurts me horribly. The bag I had with me to go pick her up that had a purr pop and her donut cone. I'm so lost and upset. She was the only thinking keeping me going and now I've just lost motivation to do anything. I don't look forward going to work because I have nothing to look forward to. Nothing to spend my money on and rush home to. When I come home I will no longer see her sitting at the window or meowing as soon as I walk in the door. I'm devastated and angry partly with myself. Perhaps I could've done more to prevent this from happening to her. I'd give anything to have my baby back.

Let me give a bit of backstory. Last year during summer I made a DEAL with my mom that I would consistently clean the kitchen everyday for 20 a week. Why I was being paid? Because I wasn't the only person in the house with no job who could clean. My brother who is 20 didn't have a job but never cleaned. So y would I clean everyday for free when I'm not the only one who could do so?? Also I needed money for food and feminine products due to my mom never buying groceries and making me feel bad when I said I needed tampons. I didn't have a job because of a lack of an ID. No ID because no birth certificate.

At the end of last month my mom lost her job because she was arguing with an employee of hers in front of her clients (Special needs kids). So yea I lost my income but despite that I was still consistently cleaning every single day for about 3 weeks. I had to scrap up coins to get me a McDonald's meal, tampons, and feed my kitten but I was still cleaning up.

I got a job a week ago but haven't physically stayed yet and stated that I wasn't going to be cleaning up everyday anymore and that me, my mom, and sister(27?) could take turns. Which is what we were doing. My mom has a job now however it isn't a consistent one. She only works about 3 days out of a week but hasn't been going for the past week since she doesn't like her client.

Sunday night I cleaned up the kitchen. My mom nor my sister cleaned up Monday so dishes were still in the sink today. My mom didn't work yesterday but she cooked so it should've been my sister's turn but she didn't clean. Today my mom is calling me selfish (meanwhile she was using my charger) saying I should've cleaned and that she doesn't want to live with me anymore. Also mentioning how I'm an atheist and gossiping to my brother about it (20!!!) who DOESNT WORK NOR CLEAN.

Also calling me lazy because I didn't take out chicken wings. Nobody told me to take them out so why would I. Basically now I'm selfish and lazy because I didn't clean kitchen despite the fact we're supposed to take turns and I cleaned last. So AITA?

I've had a kitten for a few months and what I've realized is I will never want to own a dog. I love having a cat and will definitely have more (maybe not a kitten though 😭). My kitten stresses me out enough as if so I couldn't imagine owning a dog. I do love and adore dogs still but I'm definitely a full on cat person. I'm not lazy at all but i definitely wouldn't have energy for even your calmest laid back dog because of things you would naturally have to do with owning a dog no matter have much energy they have. A less common reason why I wouldn't want to own a dog is because I don't have the energy to train one.

We're all aware of how big of a responsibility kids are. They're A LOT. I just don't think it's all that crazy for a man to not want to be present when they don't want to be. As long as they're providing money of course. Someone who doesn't want kids obviously isn't going to want to take care of one. In that case they definitely should be wrapping up but I still don't believe that just because they didn't take precaution that means he just HAS to be a present father despite not wanting to do so.

It's definitely selfish but life is too short to ruin your life with a kid you don't want. Not only that but they aren't going to be good fathers. A kid WILL know that their father doesn't want them. I'm not a parent but I know for a fact it wouldn't be easy to hide the fact you don't want your kid. So i genuinely don't get why people think a present father is better than a deadbeat. ITS NOT. If he doesn't want to be a father then leave him be.

Don't do that to your kid. A father coming in and out of their kid's life is horrible for the kid. That's all I have to say.