My girlfriend’s daughters kill her joy and take her for granted
My girlfriend (47F) is a wonderful person, and I (49M) care about her deeply. She has 17-year-old twin daughters, and there’s a recurring dynamic I’m not sure how to address.
Her late partner wasn’t their biological father, but he provided well, and the girls grew up accustomed to a comfortable lifestyle. Since his passing, my girlfriend has some money left, but it’s not unlimited. The concern is that the girls still feel entitled to that lifestyle, often taking her sacrifices for granted.
She’s vented to me many times about the stress, so this isn’t a one-off situation. The recent prom ordeal really highlighted it. She spent thousands on dresses, alterations, and makeup. One daughter wiped off a $100 professional makeup job. When my girlfriend wanted to take a simple picture afterward, the girls refused, and it turned into a lot of tension. They seem unaware of how much she’s sacrificing—financially and emotionally.
I’m not trying to insert myself where I don’t belong, but I do think long-term. How can we grow together if this pattern keeps rippling outward and might impact me and my own kids down the line? How do I gently encourage her to set boundaries so she’s not drained by her daughters—without sounding judgmental or like I’m overstepping