27M, never been in a relationship and starting to question what all this self-improvement was for
I’m 27 and lately this has been getting to me a lot more than usual.
Over the last year or so I’ve worked really hard on myself because I thought if I improved myself enough, things would eventually change. I lost a lot of weight, go to the gym consistently, work hard in my career, picked up hobbies, and genuinely tried to become a better version of myself.
But despite all of that, I still feel really lonely.
I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve never even been on a date. The girls I’m genuinely interested in usually seem to lose interest quickly or friendzone me. The thing that hurts the most isn’t even the lack of sex or dating itself, it’s the feeling of never being chosen by someone romantically.
I don’t really have close friends and most days it feels like I go through life alone. When I’m alone, I think about this stuff constantly. It’s on my mind almost every day.
What’s really getting to me is that after all this hard work and self-improvement, nothing seems to have changed in the area I care about most. I keep thinking: what was the point of all this if I still feel this lonely?
I know people say “focus on yourself” and honestly that’s what I’ve been doing for years at this point. I’m more looking for honest opinions from people who’ve been through something similar.
Has anyone else reached their late 20s with no dating experience?
Did things eventually change?
How do you stop tying your self-worth to whether someone wants you?
I’m still carrying on, but recently this has been making me sad almost every day