My Wife Left Me- Need Advice
My (29F) wife (28F) decided to leave and said she wanted a divorce. We have been together for a total of six years and married for two years.
Our relationship has had a lot of ups and downs due to both of our trauma and triggers. Moreover, I had untreated bipolar disorder, which we did not discover until about 8 months ago. I have since been medicated, although it’s been a tough journey trying to find the right combination of medications. Nevertheless, I have put her through a lot over the years without understanding why. I have since been taking my medications, routinely seeing my psychiatrist, and having regular appointments with my therapist to continue work through guilt, shame, and insecure attachment issues. The request for divorce has come at a time when I’m doing all the right things and making progress.
To add insult to injury, we picked out and bought the perfect wedding band for my wife about three weeks ago— she left about two weeks ago. She was never able to settle on the perfect ring, but finally found it a few weeks ago. Everything was seemingly perfect.
Until one night, I went out with friends, got drunk, and came home & said some mean things— which I don’t remember doing due to the alcohol. This led to her deciding to leave. She was gone by the morning. She blocked me on every platform. I reached out to her via email, to which she replied explaining how I’m an evil monster that she hates and wants nothing to do with, insisting on a divorce.
I begged. I pleaded. I disrespected her boundaries by continuously reaching out. I couldn’t help myself— it was impulsive, stupid, shameful. I could not stand the thought of giving up on the marriage. I’m in love with her.
I am now realizing that I may have pushed her away for good by disrespecting those boundaries. She refuses to discuss anything related to the relationship and will only communicate regarding separating finances, property, and the dogs.
I have not picked up a drink since the day she left. I have continued with therapy and adjusting my medications accordingly. I have leaned into my friends. I have upheld my responsibilities. I’m reading self help books.
I’m confused because in her emails, she has only mentioned “separating” and “separation”. She has not explicitly said anything about divorce. I know I’m probably reading too far into it, but I’m holding onto any tiny fiber of hope.