u/EnyoOfWar

So I'm a raging bisexual. Like, if bisexuality was a natural disaster, I'd be a category 5. Fire alarms would go off. FEMA would get involved.

Funny backstory: I was homophobic until December 2024. Yes, I know. The irony is not lost on me. The audacity. The character development nobody asked for. Then I got an iPad (bless technology), discovered Goodreads (bless reading), and met the most wonderful queer gremlins on the planet. They adopted me. I came out to myself. And now here I am, a bisexual disaster with feelings.

The problem? Her name is Sunbeam (not her real name, but it should be because she is literally radiant and it makes me sick).

Sunbeam and I have known each other since kindergarten. I've been in love with her for more than five years. FIVE. She's smart, she's funny, she reads my writing and actually likes it, she playfully hits me (non-abusively, it's our love language), and she has the audacity to exist while I'm trying to be normal.

Here's the thing, though. I am not her best friend. Okay? Let that sink in. She is my best friend, my whole heart, my emotional support human, but I'm not hers. And her actual best friend? Let's call her Daisy. Daisy is not a bad person. She's actually pretty nice. She involves me in things, she invites me to hang out. I have no legitimate reason to hate her.

And yet.

I sometimes want to fucking strangle Daisy. Not because she did anything wrong, but because she exists in Sunbeam's immediate orbit. She's right there. All the time. And I have this overwhelming, completely unhinged urge to eliminate Daisy from Sunbeam's surroundings like a Sims character removing a pool ladder.

Homicidal instincts aside (we're working on it in therapy, by which I mean I haven't told anyone), I really want something to happen with Sunbeam.

But.

She's straight. And also… kind of homophobic. Like, she tolerates my LGBTQ+ existence because she likes my books, but I'm pretty sure she's just doing it for the free content. I'm her personal queer Netflix series.

I've hinted. Subtly. Like a brick through a window. She responds with this horrible push-pull game, super flirtatious one second, clueless the next. I don't think she knows what she's doing. Either that or she's an evil genius.

So. Do I confess and risk imploding our entire friendship, or do I suffer in silence, write increasingly unhinged poetry about her, and continue fantasizing about relocating Daisy to a different country?

Help me, bisexual subreddit. You're my only hope.

TL;DR: I'm a clown in love with my straight, semi-homophobic best friend who has another best friend named Daisy and I have not committed any crimes yet.

In the sunless city of Old Dusk, a dead god rots in the catacombs, and the Bellegarde family has spent millennia slaughtering the monsters it attracts.

Nicholas Hectoris-Bellegarde is the First Son – golden boy, pristine record, heir to a bloody legacy. When a mission to a neighboring city goes violently wrong, he uncovers an ancient demon weaving flesh‑webs beneath holy ground. The discovery costs him everything: his magic, his title, and his mother’s love.

Stripped of his magic and possessed by demon fragments he can’t fully control, Nicholas becomes a fugitive in his own city. His older brother Edmund – a “retired” hunter hiding a lifetime of trauma behind cheap whiskey and charm – leads a covert rebellion to overthrow their mother, the tyrannical Head of the family.

But Joelle Bellegarde doesn’t lose. She stages a public trial for fratricide and treason, forces Nicholas to defend his own possession, and nearly executes him before his demonic powers erupt. Now a wanted outlaw, Nicholas must decide: run forever, or burn what’s left of his family to the ground.

The Lies We Feed is the first book in the God-Corpse Cycle, a dark fantasy about trauma, loyalty, and the monsters we inherit.

Content Warnings (please read before volunteering):

• Sexual assault of a minor (depicted indirectly through a survivor’s journal entries and confession; no graphic on‑page assault)
• Child death (an on‑page body of a young girl is discovered)
• Violence and gore (monster combat, body horror, torture, execution)
• Demonic possession and loss of bodily autonomy
• Familial emotional abuse (parental rejection, gaslighting, a parent wishing for a child’s death)
• Explicit consensual intimacy (one scene between two male characters, portrayed as tender and healing)
• Strong language throughout

Feedback I’m looking for:

Please answer these after finishing:

1. Pacing – Where did you first feel like putting the book down? Where did you skim? Was the opening too slow?
2. Characters – Who did you care about most? Least? Did any POV feel unnecessary or confusing (Nicholas, Edmund, Elloise, Dominic, Nialle)?
3. Sensitivity – Did the handling of Edmund’s childhood sexual assault feel respectful? Did any scene cross into exploitation? (Please be honest.)
4. Emotional beats – Which scenes landed hardest? Which fell flat (e.g., the trial, the blanket fort, the confrontation with Leveroy)?
5. Clarity – Was there anything you didn’t understand? Any plot holes or moments where you felt lost?
6. Ending – Did the final line (“only forward – together”) feel satisfying, or did you expect a final confrontation with Joelle? If you felt unresolved, what were you hoping for?
7. The explicit intimacy scene – Did it feel earned and necessary, or jarring given the rest of the book’s tone?
8. General – What’s one thing you would cut, and one thing you would expand?

Timeline & Format:

• I’m hoping for feedback within 4–6 weeks (flexible, just keep me posted).
• I can send the manuscript as a PDF, ePub, or Google Docs file – let me know your preference.
• I’m open to critique swapping if you have a dark fantasy, horror, or literary fiction manuscript of similar length.

About me: First-time novelist, been editing this for a while. I’ve already done several revision passes, but I need fresh eyes to catch pacing issues and emotional blind spots.

Comment or DM if interested. Please mention your experience with dark/heavy themes if you’re comfortable – not required, but helpful.

Given the sensitive content (childhood sexual assault, trauma recovery, and an explicit M/M intimacy scene), I would prefer to work with female beta readers or non‑binary readers. If you are a man who has experience with this subject matter, you're welcome to reach out, but please understand why I'm prioritizing other voices.

Thanks for reading!