u/EpsteinWasHung

Long story short, wifey promised to ride with me a lot more if she would get a new bike.

We tried a decent hardtail with a dropper post, and I could sense her excitement compared to her old bike. Didn't end up getting that one, but found a used 2020 DaVinci Django Carbon with Fox factory and XT groupset. For €800. Being sold for parts.

A rogur angle grinder had made sweet love to the carbon, and left quite the impression! The bike had been stolen, returned to the owner by police, and now the owner had another bike because insurance had generously paid for the Devinci.

The more serious damage is repairable according to a carbon repair shop nearby, but they wont have time to fix it until 3 weeks from now. The repair is "only" €150 without paint afterwards. Our budget for new bike was already exceeded, so would rather wait and get best bang for the buck.

My wife only rides light trails, and often goes slower than our three year old on his commencal ramones. So the frame wouldn't be stressed much.

Question is, do we really need to wait 3 weeks to get the damage fixed, or can we send it as is?

https://ibb.co/66GcjfP - major damage pic 1

https://ibb.co/FbCFsfsv minor "scratch", a bit of epoxy here!

https://ibb.co/ns13GwzC major damage pic 2

A bit of background. I grew up born again Christian, deconstructed almost a decade ago, and currently have quite whimsical set of beliefs. Taoism with quite a hippie flair, sprinkle a bit of 'the force' from star wars, and a bit of Christian universalism. Eckhart Tolle and Alan Watts kind of thing.

Wife grew up Greek Orthodox, and in the last few years, has discovered non-denominational church near us thats actually really healthy with wonderful community. Still a bit on the fence about LGBTQ+ kinds of topics, but seems to make her own beliefs about most topics.

Our five year old daughter has been really into fairies, princesses, and lately talking about spirits too. Butterfly spirits, forest spirits, flower fairies. That sort of really wholesome stuff. Spouse hasnt discouraged it at all.

She's been going to church and Sunday school a couple times a month, and I'm not really a fan of the Christian perspective for children, because long term it highly limits the sorts of beliefs they can have outside of belief in Jesus.

During a forest adventure daughter and I had yesterday, we were talking about her favorite spirits and fairies. I proceeded to tell her, that one of the reason why I don't like going to church is because they do not believe in fairies, spirits, or the source in church. Only Jesus and God. I proceeded to explain that they, and my spouse can believe in exactly what they want to. I can believe what I want to, and my daughter can believe whatever she wants to.

My daughter started saying things like "she'll punch the people at church in the nose" while giggling if they tell her that her fairies and spirits are not real. In many ways, I also do believe in those.

Today, our daughter told my spouse about these things. Through a miscommunication between 5 year old talking about complicated topic, my spouse thought I had said that our 3 yr old son shouldn't go to church, but also correctly understood that I had explained that the church doesnt believe in fairies or spirits (at least benevolent ones).

My spouse was furious, and accused me of manipulating our daughter against spouse's faith.

Spouse made it clear that they would tell our daughter about my previous struggles with mental health, and how in their opinion, those mental health topics have influenced my faith and beliefs. I told them, that this would go against my boundaries but this doesnt seem to make a difference.

So couple questions: If a church doesnt have room for actual beliefs in fairies and forest spirits, is it manipulating our daughter to tell her about these facts? At no point did I belittle anyone's belief in Jesus.

Its just that Jesus and more colorful beliefs cant coexist in many circles, as a child gets older. Id rather have my daughter know about this now, than when she's old enough to hear it directly.

Any advice navigating future discussions in more constructive fashion?

Tl:dr; Spouse feels like I'm turning daughter against their religion (Christianity) and the church by telling her that people at church do not believe in fairies or spirits or source. Spouse threatening to tell daughter about my previous mental health challenges, and try to turn her against my beliefs, in ways spouse has felt I'm trying to turn daughter against hers. In my mind, Jesus and all spirits and fairies can absolutely coexist.

Wait a couple weeks and repair carbon frame, or safe enough for wife to send it?

Conflict with spouse about daughter's belief in fairies and spirits, and how I explained that spouse's church doesn't believe in them