I (29M) broke the trust of my wife (28F) is there any way for me to save my family?
I (29M) have been married to a beautiful woman (28 F) for about 6 years, I too have been blessed with a son and one about to be born this month. I consider her the love of my life... And I never once see her as not perfect in any way whatsoever.
But I did make a mistake.
Maybe it was a moment of weakness, curiosity, or any reason I can't really remember. I searched my exes on google... From the evidence that she found (a search history from a google account that I haven't used for years), I put their name on google in 2023. I do vaguely remember searching for them on google, like I just want to know what or how they are doing right now. I don't remember being attracted to them anymore but my wife told me that they are attractive. My wife also thought that it's not possible for me to not be attracted to them, especially since my wife hasn't really been taking care of herself these past 6 years, cause of pregnancy and taking care of my son.
And that was enough for her to not be able to trust me again... And she doesn't want me to accompany her while she is in labor about 2 weeks from now.
I am crushed. I love her. I love my family. And I'm furious with myself on why I did what I do...
Do you have any advice on how to fix this? I already said sorry, many times, she also said no worries but I know it was not enough. She also said that she will try to take care of herself more, and would be more independent after this. That terrifies me... I can't really imagine my life without her, without my family.
I know I've broke her trust. Is there any way to gain it back?
Sorry for my English, not my first language. Thanks in advance for your advice..
TL/DR: I broke the trust of my wife because of a search history I did 3 years ago. What can I do to gain it back?