u/Equal_Usual_6785

After 7-8 years of edging and porn combined addiction, im like so confused quite literally don know what works and whats the point of it anyways.
But im intending to fix other qualities of myself whether it maybe discipline / responsiblilty.
with my first intention being joining a gym, is it possible to make gains or jus be regularly able to workout if I relapse once or twice.

I need advice from someone whos used a structure and discplined system to like make a healthy habit or routine in ur life (as a porn addict)

Why can't i quit this? Do i really jus try to sabotage myself, or have i become used to this cycle, that unconsciously it doesnt make a point in me trying to quit so i jus stopped hoping to quit?

My question is do i really wanna stop? or am i jus scared of religion and pretending to stop or quit?

How does repentance work in this case. im sinning i relapse i regret i ask forgiveness, i do the same thing again same cycle, is having faith in god or a higher power really make sense. i don understand this at all. if im willing to change myself, and put effort why doesnt the path get better, its jus going worse and worse.

If so my forgiveness makes sense, how does sinning and forgiveness work.. cause of this repeated cycle am i really asking allah anything seriously or sincerely at all?

Why am i like this?