u/Explrak

I (21F) recently met a guy (21M) who told me he likes me and sees a future with me and since we barely know each other I told him that let's be friends first and get to know each other better before any commitments and he agreed to me and told me to take my time and he'll wait for me.

I also told that the problem is that I'm still not over my previous relationship as it wasn't exactly a breakup because my ex never clearly ended things as we never fought or argued but he suddenly he became distant and he used to stay busy his replies became short and dry and he would sometimes reply after 1-2 days or leave me on read and he stopped initiating conversations too I was the only one who initiate the conversation

And I tried to ask him if something was bothering him then please tell me I'm there for him but he told me to give him some time and he will explain everything later and I respected that and waited for him but after more time passed I asked him directly if he had lost interest or liked someone else so he can tell me and I'll accept his decision but he gave me the same answer but I am an overthinker so I overthink a lot and I thought he has lost interest but he's not telling me and so I stopped reaching out because I felt like I was the only one trying to keep things going and he doesn't care

Now that I think I think maybe I was just overthinking as he was already struggling a lot and maybe it was hard for him but I never asked or force him to talk to me I just wanted to know what is happening in his life like even just a little update is enough for me and I can still wait for him and I kept questioning myself that did I do something wrong and I felt hopeless and that he's not anymore interested and doesn't want to admit it so I was mentally and emotionally trying to move on

Now I've met this new guy who is genuinely kind to me and he takes care of me and he knows I'm not fully over my past relationship but he didn't forsed me and said he's willing to wait and is consistently putting in effort. I appreciate his efforts but I still have feelings for my ex and I keep wondering whether I should keep waiting for closure or accept that his actions have already given me an answer

But suddenly yesterday the guy I was dating messaged me that he is busy and he'll call me later and then I said ok I'll wait but he didn't call and i asked him when will he call he said just give me some time and I told him I want to talk but I'm not forcing him to talk to me and he left me on read and I asked what did I even did that you're behaving this way atleast tell me and answered nothing but he's not using his phone that much these days and nothing has been changed between us and I asked really because it doesn't seem so and I asked if he really loves me to which he replied a lot

I don't want to hurt the new guy by leading him on or give him false hopes but I don't know what to do

If you were me how would you handle this situation?

TL;DR: I was dating a guy and there was never an official breakup between me and the guy I was dating as he still says he'll explain everything to me and sometimes acts interested but he's very inconsistent and rarely messages. Meanwhile, I've met a new guy who is putting efforts and is willing to wait for me, but my ex the guys I was dating says he still loves me and I'm still emotionally attached to the first guy and don't know what to do

I (21F) recently met a guy (21M) who told me he likes me and sees a future with me and since we barely know each other I told him that let's be friends first and get to know each other better before any commitments and he agreed to me and told me to take my time and he'll wait for me.

I also told that the problem is that I'm still not over my previous relationship as it wasn't exactly a breakup because my ex never clearly ended things as we never fought or argued but he suddenly he became distant and he used to stay busy his replies became short and dry and he would sometimes reply after 1-2 days or leave me on read and he stopped initiating conversations too I was the only one who initiate the conversation

And I tried to ask him if something was bothering him then please tell me I'm there for him but he told me to give him some time and he will explain everything later and I respected that and waited for him but after more time passed I asked him directly if he had lost interest or liked someone else so he can tell me and I'll accept his decision but he gave me the same answer but I am an overthinker so I overthink a lot and I thought he has lost interest but he's not telling me and so I stopped reaching out because I felt like I was the only one trying to keep things going and he doesn't care

Now that I think I think maybe I was just overthinking as he was already struggling a lot and maybe it was hard for him but I never asked or force him to talk to me I just wanted to know what is happening in his life like even just a little update is enough for me and I can still wait for him and I kept questioning myself that did I do something wrong and I felt hopeless and that he's not anymore interested and doesn't want to admit it so I was mentally and emotionally trying to move on

Now I've met this new guy who is genuinely kind to me and he takes care of me and he knows I'm not fully over my past relationship but he didn't forsed me and said he's willing to wait and is consistently putting in effort. I appreciate his efforts but I still have feelings for my ex and I keep wondering whether I should keep waiting for closure or accept that his actions have already given me an answer

But suddenly yesterday the guy I was dating messaged me that he is busy and he'll call me later and then I said ok I'll wait but he didn't call and i asked him when will he call he said just give me some time and I told him I want to talk but I'm not forcing him to talk to me and he left me on read and I asked what did I even did that you're behaving this way atleast tell me and answered nothing but he's not using his phone that much these days and nothing has been changed between us and I asked really because it doesn't seem so and I asked if he really loves me to which he replied a lot

I don't want to hurt the new guy by leading him on or give him false hopes but I don't know what to do

If you were me how would you handle this situation?

TL;DR: I was dating a guy and there was never an official breakup between me and the guy I was dating as he still says he'll explain everything to me and sometimes acts interested but he's very inconsistent and rarely messages. Meanwhile, I've met a new guy who is putting efforts and is willing to wait for me, but my ex the guys I was dating says he still loves me and I'm still emotionally attached to the first guy and don't know what to do