I’m just tired.
So in short. I’ve been cleaning up biohazard’s involving self terminating, attempted, and overdoses for 10+ years. I get super invested in every family as I don’t just do the cleanup, but I actually talk to the family through the process and spend hours with families during the remediation. Sometimes even after a cleanup I go to dinner with families and it’s actually fun learning about someone I wish I would have met.
Basically im tired. Even if I leave this job my opinion won’t change that I’m ready to give up myself at this point. The depression is pulling my insides apart. I’ve seen and heard so much stories involving the young and old it just sucks how bad the world is from the underbelly most people don’t see.
I’m not here to stop a death I’m just here to cleanup and help a family mourn. It just sucks seeing so much that could have been prevented and I can’t do anything about it.
Im just ranting. If you are thinking about doing something stupid like self terminating It’s not just family it effects.
Idk I guess most of the time I feel absolutely nothing. Sometimes I feel everything at once. It just sucks. Thanks for reading whoever you are.