u/Extension-Mango-176

I have a 30-year-old friend who has a lot of unresolved trauma from her past romantic relationships. She has been hurt by many men and in many different ways.  I empathize with her and feel like she did not deserve many of the things that have happened to her. It has caused her to feel very negatively about relationships in general and marriage specifically. She can get quite bitter, spiteful, and angry at times when discussing it. She still pursues dating, but at the beginning of the relationship She will start thinking of reasons it will not work and how it will end up with one of them hurting the other and one of them devastated emotionally. She is always catastrophizing everything, which leads her to sabotage the relationship.She has started to pursue relationships purely for sex and has found it pretty unsatisfying so far. 

She has seen two therapist off and on for several years but it did not help. She believes it was a waste of time and no benefit of all. 

She asked for my opinion and advice, but I told her that I was sorry, but frankly, I didn't know what to do or how to help. I understand why she feels that way and agreed that what she's going through is tough.

Could anyone offer advice on how she can process her unresolved trauma and approach relationships with a healthier mindset?

Thanks.

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Recently, a friend got very mad at something I did and put me on no contact. They said they would never speak to me again and are blocking me, so don't contact them. I agreed to do that and deleted everything from my phone and associated accounts related to them without hesitation or resistance.

A couple of days later, they emailed me saying their therapist told them to contact me and clarify their reasoning for putting me on no contact. Their therapist said they should do that for many reasons, including the fact that I seemed like an interesting and possibly a "good" friend, her words. Also she has a tendency to cut off people quickly and without warning and is trying to work on it. 

It was obvious that they didn't want to do it and was still unhappy about what I did. I thanked them for the email and said I wished them nothing but the best, and they replied back, and I left it at that.

Here is the part where I am asking for advice and opinions. 

My ex-friend is on the spectrum and has experienced a lot of emotional trauma in their life. I think it has led them to develop several unhealthy defense mechanisms, behaviors, and thinking patterns. I genuinely believe they have a good heart and they just need some growing to do. 

Despite our conversations, I haven't been able to convince them of this. Honestly, I don't know anyone who they truly listen to. So I'm surprised, to be frank, that they seem to take their therapist's opinion so seriously.

I am considering responding to their last email, suggesting they bring up some specific past discussions/disagreements with their therapist and asking for their opinion. Maybe their therapist will cause them to reevaluate some of their unhealthy behaviors and thinking patterns.

I actually do think they will do it. Not because they would think it's a good idea, but because they believe their therapist would agree with them and prove me wrong.

Is this a good idea? Is this my place? A part of me feels like once they put me on no contact, I should follow what they said and never initiate anything.

The other part just wants nothing but the best for them and believes bringing up these discussions will help them a lot. I recognize a lot of my old self in them before therapy and religion and would have appreciated someone doing this for me when I was younger.

Thanks everyone for reading this long post and whoever responds.